


Five Years from Now

by LyriaBlackFrost



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mishima's Palace, Mutual Support, Non-Graphic Violence, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriaBlackFrost/pseuds/LyriaBlackFrost
Summary: After Ryuji has his leg broken by Kamoshida, Yuuki tries to cheer his friend up, serving as the only source of emotional support that he needs so much.With the Phantom Thieves giving Ryuji something else to strive for, while part of Yuuki is relieved, a small, selfish one—which he desperately tried to keep hidden—starts to grow stronger, to the point that not only Ryuji, but Yuuki himself starts to realize that something is really wrong.His suspicions are confirmed soon after a familiar app appears on his phone’s screen.
Relationships: Mishima Yuuki/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 28
Kudos: 92





	Five Years from Now

**Author's Note:**

> I’m surprised I didn’t write something like this before, given how much I love both Yuuki and Ryushima.
> 
> I hope you like it! :)

Yuuki stood in front of the hospital door for a long time. As much as he wanted to go inside, he also didn’t know what to say… Would it be better if he smiled? No, that was probably a bad idea. Besides, the last thing he wanted to do at that moment was to smile.

Realizing that he would spend the entire afternoon there if he didn’t gather the courage to enter the room, he took a deep breath, opening the door. As soon as he took two steps inside, he was able to see Ryuji on a bed. His friend looked at him, and Yuuki instinctively showed him a slight smile that Ryuji didn’t return— _he knew it was a terrible idea…_

“Hi…” he said, trying to hide his embarrassment. “I came as soon as I could.”

Ryuji simply nodded, lowering his eyes. Yuuki noticed the heavy cast on his leg, and his chest tightened.

“How is your…?”

“I can’t run anymore,” answered Ryuji in a low voice.

Yuuki felt like something had crumbled inside of him.

“Oh…”

He wanted to find something nice to say, but it seemed impossible. Ryuji shrugged, forcing an exhausted smile.

“It’s funny, ain’t it?” said his friend in a low voice. “I spent all this time mad at my old man for treatin’ my mom and I like shit, and… in the end, I ain’t that different from him.”

“Kamoshida provoked you!” protested Yuuki. “It wasn’t your fault that—”

“I fell for it,” Ryuji interrupted him. “All ‘cause I couldn’t control myself. This… it’s like a punishment.”

“Don’t say that!” insisted Yuuki. “The only person who did anything wrong was him!”

Ryuji looked at him, and the expression on his face was so unlike his usual, cheerful one, that he almost seemed like another person.

“You know what my mom said after the surgery?” he asked.

Yuuki simply looked at him, a bad feeling growing at the bottom of his stomach.

“She apologized for raisin’ me without a father,” Ryuji lowered his gaze. “I couldn’t give a shit about punchin’ that guy’s face, but… In the end, all it did was make her cry.”

He stopped for a moment, his fists closing in restrained frustration.

“And now I’ve lost the only thing I’m good at, too,” he added.

“There really isn’t a chance…?”

Ryuji shook his head.

“They don’t even know how it’ll heal…” he answered. “I could spend my whole life limpin’ like an old man.”

Yuuki didn’t know what to say to him. Would his words even make any difference in that situation? He doubted so.

“I… I’m sorry to hear it,” he muttered.

Ryuji stayed silent for a while.

“Hey, Yuuki…”

Yuuki looked at him, silently hoping that Ryuji would ask him something that could make him feel better.

“Thanks for comin’, but… I think I wanna be alone for a while.”

His words seemed to shatter Yuuki’s heart. He offered Ryuji an understanding smile.

“Sure,” he said. “Can I come see you again?”

“You don’t have to,” answered Ryuji without looking at him.

“Okay.”

Without insisting, Yuuki walked to the door, taking a final glance at Ryuji before leaving.

“I hope to see you soon at school,” he said.

“Yeah…”

He closed the door behind him. His vision went slightly blurry, and he quickly made his way out of the hospital, not wanting anyone to notice his expression and ask him if he was fine. Because _no,_ he wasn’t… It was so unfair! Why did that man have to ruin everything that was important to him? First volleyball, and now…

He tried to keep those thoughts out of his mind as he approached the train station, but it was difficult not to remember Ryuji’s expression. Yuuki boarded the train, leaning against the closed doors, angry at himself for his inability to do anything to help his friend.

* * *

He didn’t talk much with Ryuji after that, other than the ‘how are you?’ messages, that always got a generic ‘fine’ response. It felt like an eternity had passed before his friend finally started to go to school again, using a pair of crutches as support. The first thing Yuuki did upon seeing him was to take his bag and carry it for him. The gesture, however, seemed to leave Ryuji more uncomfortable than relieved, despite his whispered ‘thanks’.

But, maybe, the worst part was the whispers that accompanied them through the corridors, and Kamoshida’s smug grin at them as he entered the teacher’s room.

“Are you alright?” asked Yuuki.

“Yeah.”

Another automatic response. He tried again.

“Shouldn’t you be resting at home?” he asked. “It should be difficult to walk like that.”

“My aunt brought me with her car.”

“Ah… That’s good.”

Ryuji gritted his teeth, and Yuuki took that as a sign to not insist on the subject. He accompanied Ryuji to his desk, placing his bag over it. Then, without another word, he walked to his own seat.

It was difficult for him to pay attention to the classes that day. He caught himself watching Ryuji countless times, and even when he tried to keep his eyes on his notes, his mind still wandered to close to his friend. When the bell announcing lunch-time finally rang, Ryuji stood up with some effort, and, in a second, Yuuki was beside him.

“You should stay here,” he said. “It’s a bad idea to keep forcing your leg… I can go buy something for you, if you want.”

“I don’t wanna be here,” he said in a low voice, without looking at Yuuki. “I’m tired of people lookin’ at me.”

Yuuki instinctively looked around, seeing more than a few pairs of eyes on them. Of course, the entire school knew about the Kamoshida incident by that point. And worse: they knew it from that man’s point of view, in which Ryuji was a delinquent with serious anger issues, who attacked him because of a simple disagreement. The thought of it made Yuuki want to puke.

“Do you want to go to the roof?” suggested Yuuki.

Ryuji nodded. Yuuki accompanied him, keeping close distance in case Ryuji lost his balance. They reached the roof, and Ryuji sat on one of the old desks there. Yuuki pulled another one, sitting close to him. For a long time, neither of them said anything, and the silence made Yuuki feel uncomfortable.

“Sorry…” he said. “Am I bothering you?”

He couldn’t tell if it was his question, or something entirely different, but as soon as he spoke those words, Ryuji’s stiff expression slowly started to crumble, until he had his head buried in his arms, sobbing loudly. That sudden change startled Yuuki.

“Ryuji?” He leaned in his friend’s direction, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t wanna be here…” mumbled Ryuji. “I told them it was meaningless, but…”

“What are you talking about?”

Ryuji raised his head, but didn’t look at Yuuki’s face.

“I fucked everythin’ up!” he said. “My only chance at ever gettin’ into college. Why should I keep comin’ to school, then? What’s the point?”

Those words caught Yuuki by surprise, and he didn’t even know how to react.

“Why…?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

Ryuji didn’t respond immediately, taking some seconds to try to control his sobs.

“I told my mom I wanted to drop outta school,” he said. “She… got really mad at me. We kinda had a fight, and… She even called my aunt to convince me to keep comin’ until I graduate.”

“Wait… Drop school?” Yuuki widened his eyes. “You… You’re not serious, are you?

“The only reason I was here was to get a damn scholarship,” answered Ryuji. “Since I can’t get it anymore, then… I should just find a full-time job to help my mom out.”

He stopped talking, staring at the floor in front of him for quite some time, his thoughts seeming far away.

“But, when you think about it…” he proceeded. “I’m the reason why she has to overwork herself, to begin with, right?”

A small, humorless smile took his lips.

“Shit…” he said. “My old man was right. I really just ruin everythin’ I fuckin’ touch.”

“Stop it,” asked Yuuki.

“But he was right!” insisted Ryuji. “If it wasn’t for me, my mom would still be happy! The track team would still exist! Maybe… maybe my dad wouldn’t have started to drink, and—”

“I told you to stop it!”

Yuuki grabbed Ryuji by the shoulders, staring into his eyes with a serious expression.

“Stop blaming yourself for things that weren’t your fault!” he yelled. “Kamoshida provoked you, and you just reacted! You know why? Because he used something that still hurts against you! Anyone would be upset in your place! And it wasn’t your fault that your father started to drink… He made that decision himself, and, because of it, you had to go through something no one ever deserved to!”

He stopped talking for a moment, lowering his tone.

“And you’re not like him… Not at all.”

He tightened his grip on Ryuji’s shoulders, gritting his teeth.

“You’re my best friend, Ryuji…” he muttered. “I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it.”

Ryuji lowered his head, spending a long time in silence.

“Sorry,” he said, finally.

His weak voice was what made Yuuki let go of any social norms or fears of embarrassing himself, placing his arms around Ryuji and carefully pulling him into a hug.

“Don’t apologize…” he said in a soft tone. “It’s alright.”

Ryuji didn’t move away, instead resting his forehead on Yuuki’s shoulder.

“I just… don’t know what to do,” he said. “It’s like, no matter what I do, this is how everythin’ ends… It’s always people hurtin’ me, and me being scared of doin’ the same to them… of becomin’ just what my old man said I would. I’m so tired of this…” a loud sob cut his phrase. “I’m so tired of feelin’ pain.”

Those words broke Yuuki’s heart.

“I can imagine…” he said.

He wished he could say something better than that… something that would reassure and comfort his friend. However, he knew he wasn’t good with words, especially at moments when he truly needed them. As much as he wanted to help, he was also scared of making everything worse by accident.

But he couldn’t simply stay silent either… At that moment, he was the only person by Ryuji’s side. If he didn’t try to do _something,_ no one else would.

“Ryuji…” he said after a moment of hesitation. “Did you ever think that, in a few years, everything could be much better?”

If anything, the question seemed to get Ryuji’s attention.

“Whaddya mean?” he asked.

Yuuki didn’t know for sure where he was going with that, but it was too late to take it back.

“Things are looking bad now, and, since we’re nothing but high-schoolers, there’s not much we can really do.” He briefly bit his lip before proceeding, hoping he could get his feelings across. “Sometimes, I feel like my life is nothing but a bad comedy show, with me being the butt of all jokes. I know it’s different from what you went through, but… I know how _that_ feels. You know, wanting to run away from everything, no matter what it takes. But, if we hang on for a few years, things could really change.”

“Yeah…” muttered Ryuji, “but what if they change for the worse?”

“You won’t know unless you’re here to see it.”

Ryuji let out a small groan, not seeming too convinced by the idea.

“Really…” he said. “I don’t know if I want to.”

Yuuki didn’t like the course that conversation was taking.

“You’re saying this because things are bad right now,” he said. “But it won’t be like this forever.”

His brain made an effort to come up with more things to say, while also doing his best not to look as in panic as he was.

“Can’t you wait for at least…” he tried to come up with a reasonable proposal. “I don’t know, ten years?”

“That’s a pretty long time.”

“Five, then,” said Yuuki. “It’s enough time for us to graduate, and start living for ourselves. Please, just five more years.”

Ryuji didn’t answer, so Yuuki proceeded.

“In five years, we’ll have this talk again, alright? And, if you still feel this way by then…” He stopped talking, not wanting to say something he would come to regret later. “We’ll find a way to make you feel better, no matter what.”

The request made Ryuji look at him, clearly unsure.

“Even if it involves murderin’ a teacher?” he asked in a slightly sarcastic tone.

“Oh, definitely!”

Ryuji widened his eyes. Then, to Yuuki’s surprise, he laughed. A small, contained laugh, unlike his usual, loud and cheerful one. Still, it seemed to warm up Yuuki’s chest with relief.

“Dude…” he said. “You didn’t even hesitate.”

“Of course not,” answered Yuuki. “I’m serious about it!”

“Yeah… I can tell.”

Ryuji’s laugh stopped, but a tiny smile stayed on his lips. Such a small thing, but it was enough for Yuuki to know that, despite believing he couldn’t do anything right, at that moment he still made a difference.

* * *

Sunday came, and with it, complete silence on Ryuji’s part. On the following Monday, however, Yuuki was surprised to look at his friend.

“Your hair…” he said.

Ryuji passed a hand through his now blond hair, seeming a little uneasy.

“Just thought that, if people are gonna talk, then I should give them a reason to talk, y’know?” He let out an awkward chuckle. “But it’s kinda weird, ain’t it?”

Yuuki looked at him for a while, then shook his head.

“Actually, it suits you,” he said.

It was true. Few people would look good with their hair in such a bright tone. Ryuji, however, looked good. _Handsome,_ even. Not that he wasn’t before, of course…

Embarrassed by his own thoughts, Yuuki forced himself to speak.

“What did your mother say about it?” he asked.

Only then it crossed his mind that, maybe, that was a terrible question to ask. However, Ryuji simply shrugged.

“Well, first she kinda made fun of me, like… ‘Ryuji, help! There’s a blond delinquent in our house!’” He laughed at the memory, and Yuuki couldn’t help but accompany him. “Then, she said it wasn’t bad, but she’ll need some time to get used to it. Ah, and she was really mad that I sneaked outta the house on my own to buy the stuff I needed. She’s all overprotective now… It’s kinda funny.”

He stopped talking, gazing distractedly at the floor, a soft smile on his lips.

“I’m glad what happened didn’t change things between us,” he muttered.

“She loves you a lot,” said Yuuki. “I’m sure she was worried after everything that happened…” He hesitated for a second. “Just like me. It must have been a relief to see you smiling again.”

His words made Ryuji look at him. He didn’t say a word for quite some time, deep in thought.

“Hey, Yuuki…” He lowered his gaze, apparently struggling with the words. “I kinda was a jerk to you back then, so…”

“It’s fine,” said Yuuki. “Anyone would be upset in your place.”

Ryuji nodded, then offered Yuuki a sweet smile.

“Y’know…” he said. “You’re an amazing friend.”

His words made Yuuki’s heart jump.

“Come on…” He dismissed his words with a flustered gesture. “Stop it.”

“I’m serious,” insisted Ryuji. “Thanks for being with me.”

His words sounded sincere, and Yuuki didn’t know how to react to them.

“No problem,” he said, finally. “You’d do the same for me, right?”

“You bet I would.”

Ryuji raised his arm, and Yuuki bumped it with his own. Ryuji’s words made his heart feel light, and he couldn’t hold back a wide, satisfied smile.

* * *

A few months later, their second year of high school started. And, with it, came Akira Kurusu.

Akira was a nice guy. A little awkward sometimes, but smart and friendly. It didn’t take long for him and Ryuji to grow fond of each other, to the point it was rare to see one of them on the school corridors without the other’s company. Just a glance was enough to see how close they became in just a few months… Like best friends. He was Ryuji’s best friend.

Gradually, Ryuji started to have less and less time to spend with Yuuki. When he wasn’t with Akira, he was in a mission with the Phantom Thieves, and during their time together, Akira or one of the other members was always there, as if, suddenly, Yuuki was the one intruding on their group.

But Ryuji looked happy, so Yuuki didn’t mind.

Or so he kept repeating to himself. He was fine… Everything was fine. Ryuji didn’t need him anymore, but it was fine. He was there before any of them, but it was _fine._ He liked Ryuji more than any of them ever would, but _it was fine_. It was fine that he would never truly be part of their group. It was fine that they saw him as a nuisance despite all of his efforts to help. It was fine that Akira was a better friend than him. It was fine that Ryuji replaced him so easily. It was fine that he was discarded like trash as soon as he wasn’t useful anymore.

It… was… _fine._

Before he knew it, those thoughts became a frequent presence in his mind. He tried not to feel anger, or jealousy, or any other of those negative emotions, but… It was hard. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like that, but he simply couldn’t help it.

He made sure that his bad thoughts never made their way to his expression, of course, always keeping a friendly smile on his face. He should already be thankful that he had a place—even if small—amid their group, and didn’t want to lose it because of something like that.

Still, it was difficult not to miss the time when he had a _best friend._ When it was just him and Ryuji against the world, and it felt like no one could stand between them. Not that Ryuji didn’t treat him like a friend anymore… But it just wasn’t the same, and Yuuki hated it.

As soon as their classes for the day ended, Yuuki left the classroom. He was distracted by the thoughts of how to improve the Phan-site, so, when someone took his phone out of his hands, he almost jumped in place. He raised his eyes, and seeing Ryuji there, standing in front of him, didn’t make things any better.

“Can’t you let go of your phone for, like, five minutes, you little nerd?” said Ryuji with a disapproving tone. “You’re gonna fall if you don’t look where you’re goin’.”

“Sorry…” he said, automatically.

Ryuji smiled, then placed a hand on his head, messing his hair.

“Take a break, okay?” he asked. “We appreciate the help, but you should take better care of yourself.”

Yuuki nodded, but wasn’t really paying attention to Ryuji’s words. In fact, he was too concerned with how his heart seemed about to break his ribs. He opened his mouth to thank Ryuji for whatever he said, but instead, what left his mouth was something entirely different.

“Are you free today?”

His regret was immediate, but he knew it was too late to take his words back. He was so sure that he would be rejected that, when Ryuji nodded in agreement, he had to make an effort not to look surprised.

“Yeah, sure,” said Ryuji. “Wanna go somewhere?”

“Yes.” Still affected by the surprise, Yuuki wasn’t able to think of a proper response. “I mean, I didn’t think of a place yet, but…”

_Unbelievable…_ How many times was he going to embarrass himself before he started to act like a normal human being? Instead of making fun of his awkward response, however, Ryuji simply smiled, placing his arm around Yuuki’s neck.

“Okay,” he said. “we’ll decide on our way, then.”

His words made Yuuki feel like an unbelievable weight had been lifted from his chest. Maybe he was just exaggerating things in his head, after all… There was nothing different about Ryuji, or the way he talked to him. He couldn’t hold back a wide, happy smile at those thoughts.

“There you are!”

That voice made Yuuki’s smile freeze. In a moment, Akira was beside them, with a playful grin on his face. He gave Yuuki a light tap on the shoulder, before looking at Ryuji.

“Man…” he said in an annoyed tone, “that bastard Ushimaru hit me straight in the forehead today.”

“Were you asleep?” asked Ryuji, amused.

“No, just talking to Mona.”

Akira indicated his bag, where Yuuki knew the cat, Morgana, was hiding.

“Dude…” Ryuji laughed. “I think I’d throw a chalk at a guy who spent the whole class talkin’ to himself like a weirdo, too.”

“Hey…” protested Akira. “You were supposed to defend _me!”_

Yuuki observed them, once again feeling left out.

“Ah, Aki…” said Ryuji, to then indicate Yuuki with a gesture. “Yuuki and I were about to go somewhere. Wanna go with us?”

Yuuki’s stomach turned. _No… Please, no. Please, just say no._

“Sorry,” said Akira. “I promised Futaba I’d take her to Akihabara today.” He thought for a second. “You two want to go with us?”

“No!”

The answer escaped Yuuki’s mouth before he could stop it. Both Ryuji and Akira looked at him, surprised.

“Sorry,” he added in a lower tone, “but I had something else in mind.”

“Ah, okay…” said Akira, slightly disappointed. “Next time, then.”

He and Ryuji bumped their arms before he left, and Yuuki tried not to think about how long it had been since the last time Ryuji did that with _him._

“Let’s go, then?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki nodded, but his excitement from minutes before was already gone. They walked together to the train station, with Ryuji doing most of the talk while he tried to keep a smile on his face.

“So?” said Ryuji. “You decided already?”

To tell the truth, he didn’t feel like going out anymore.

“Can we go to my house?” he asked in a low voice.

His suggestion made Ryuji avert his gaze, uncomfortable.

“Your house…?” he repeated. “But… what about your parents?”

That was an understandable concern: Yuuki’s parents never approved of his friendship with Ryuji, and made it very clear during the single time Ryuji visited his house.

“They won’t be there,” said Yuuki. “They’ll come home late today.”

“Ah… okay then.”

Ryuji observed him for a while, and Yuuki made an effort to pretend he didn’t notice it.

“Is everythin’ okay?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki took a deep breath, then raised his head, offering Ryuji a slightly awkward smile.

“Sorry,” he said. “I just didn’t sleep that well last night… I suppose I’m working at half the speed today.”

“See?” Ryuji sighed. “That’s why I tell you to take a break sometimes.”

Yuuki chuckled, then lowered his gaze again. They soon arrived at the station near his house, making their way there without haste. They went to Yuuki’s bedroom, and a weird, uncomfortable silence followed them. He could tell that Ryuji seemed restless, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“Too bad Aki couldn’t come with us…” said Ryuji after a while. “This was a good chance for him to visit your home without causin’ problems.”

_Akira…_ Of course he would talk about Akira.

“Ah… yes,” said Yuuki. “That’s true.”

He glanced around his room, trying to find something he could use to change the subject, his eyes soon falling upon his game console.

“Do you want to play games?” he asked.

“Sure.”

They sat on the bed, keeping some distance between them. The room was silent, except for the sounds coming from the game. Some minutes passed, until Ryuji suddenly paused the game, making Yuuki glance at him, only to meet his serious gaze. He quickly looked down, at his own hands.

“Yuuki…” said Ryuji. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me,” insisted Ryuji. “You’ve been actin’ really weird since earlier today… Somethin’ happened?”

“No, not really. I’m just sleepy.”

Ryuji observed him in slight disbelief.

“Really?” he asked.

Yuuki nodded, without looking at him.

“Yes.”

There was a long silence between them, before Ryuji sighed, shaking his head.

“Okay, then…” he said. “I’ll believe you.”

Yuuki was relieved to think that the subject would end there. However, Ryuji didn’t unpause the game, keeping his eyes on Yuuki.

“Y’know…” he said after a while. “You don’t need to work so hard on the Phan-site.”

Those words made Yuuki stare at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you shouldn’t overwork yourself like this,” explained Ryuji.

Yuuki felt as if something was sinking inside of him.

“But… It’s the only thing I can do,” he muttered.

Ryuji’s expression softened. He reached for Yuuki, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey…” he said in a gentle voice. “Don’t worry. You’re a great help, but you have your own life. You can’t just dedicate all of your time to us like that.”

“Because I’m not part of the group?” asked Yuuki in a low voice.

“What did you say?”

Yuuki shook his head.

“Nothing.”

Ryuji seemed about to insist on the question, but changed his mind.

“We’ll be fine, I promise,” he guaranteed. “He may look like a big nerd, but Akira is actually a great—”

Hearing that name again made something snap inside Yuuki. He stared at Ryuji, feeling as if something was burning inside his chest.

“I know Ryuji!” he yelled. “I already know how incredible Akira is, and how much you like him!”

His reaction made Ryuji widen his eyes, surprised.

“Ah… okay…” he said. “Sorry…?”

But that hadn’t been enough… There was so much more inside of him, so many feelings he had been repressing for a long time… It was like, if he didn’t let them out at that very moment, they would suffocate him.

“It’s always like this with you…” he proceeded. “Akira this, and Akira that… Do you think the Phantom Thieves would even be this famous without _my_ help?”

“C’mon,” said Ryuji. “I never said—”

Yuuki let out a humorless laugh.

“No, you didn’t…” he said. “But you _did_ say that Akira is the one who saved you, that Akira is the one who gave you something to live for, that Akira is your best friend, and how much you like Akira… Akira, Akira, Akira… You just won’t shut up!”

“What the hell, Yuuki?” Ryuji raised his voice, clearly upset. “I thought you liked Akira too!”

“Ah, sure…” Yuuki shook his head. “I guess he likes to have me around to take care of the site, and make fun of me in front of his friends!”

“That’s…” Ryuji stopped talking, lowering his gaze. “Listen, I know Aki does stuff like that sometimes, but… I know he doesn’t do it on purpose. He’s a good guy, and he really cares about you.”

“Of course you’d stay on his side…” retorted Yuuki. “You know… maybe if I treated you like shit too, you’d still be my friend.”

Ryuji was taken aback by those words, simply looking at Yuuki for a long time.

“I _am_ your friend,” he said.

“You’re not!” yelled Yuuki. “You only were my friend when you needed me! And now that you found someone better, you don’t have any time for me anymore… And when you do, it’s just because Akira is around!”

“That’s…”

He seemed about to protest, but stopped himself, thinking.

“I didn’t mean to…” he started to say.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” said Yuuki in a bitter voice. “Because it doesn’t matter to you.”

“It does!” insisted Ryuji. “Look, I know I’ve been kinda obsessed with bein’ a Phantom Thief an’ all that, but it’s ‘cause—”

“I don’t care!”

Yuuki looked away from Ryuji, hugging his own arms. He could feel Ryuji’s gaze still on him, but refused to look in his direction. Ryuji let out an annoyed sigh before speaking again.

“Y’know,” he said, “you’re kinda bein’ a dick right now.”

His words caused a sharp pain in Yuuki’s chest.

“Then go away,” he asked in a low voice.

“Like hell I’m goin’ back with things like this!”

Yuuki didn’t answer. Ryuji approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him look at his face.

“What the hell happened?” he asked. “Why are you actin’ like this?”

“I told you nothing happened.”

“Yeah, and that was a fuckin’ lie!”

Yuuki tried to move away from him, but Ryuji didn’t let go of his shoulder.

“Why are you bein’ so complicated?” asked Ryuji in a loud voice. “Can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“If you’re so angry at me, then why don’t you go see Akira?” retorted Yuuki. “I’m sure you’ll have much more fun with him than with me!”

“Why do you keep bringin’ Aki to this?”

“You know why!”

“I don’t! That’s why I’m asking you!”

Yuuki opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself. He was tired… Tired of Ryuji, tired of the Phantom Thieves, tired of… _everything,_ really.

“Ryuji…” he said in a low voice. “Why did you come here today?”

“Why…?”

The question made Ryuji blink, confused.

“Just answer,” asked Yuuki.

Ryuji took a moment to think, seeming lost with the flow of that conversation.

“‘Cause you asked me…?” he risked.

“If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have come, would you?”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

Yuuki closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“If I didn’t keep pestering you all about the Phan-site, none of you would even remember that I exist, would you?”

Ryuji shook his head.

“You’re makin’ no sense at all…”

“Really…?”

Yuuki glanced at him in disbelief, then turned his face away once again.

“Sorry, Ryuji…” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have told you to come here. You… you can go now.”

“I don’t wanna go.”

Again, Ryuji tried to make Yuuki look at him, but Yuuki kept his gaze low.

“Yuuki, listen…” said Ryuji. “I really don’t want things to go bad between us. You’re my friend, and I… I’m really worried about you.”

Yuuki let out a small, humorless chuckle. He looked at Ryuji, forcing a smile.

“Thanks, Ryuji,” he said. “But I really want to be alone right now.”

Ryuji didn’t answer, briefly closing his eyes and pressing his lips into a line, nodding before standing up. Yuuki watched as he left the bedroom without another word, that burning anger soon growing cold inside of him, leaving nothing but regret behind. He wanted to go after Ryuji, but he didn’t, staying right in place as he heard him open the entrance door, then close it again.

Yuuki lied down on his bed, burying his face on his pillow. He really was a shitty person, wasn’t he? He could blame Ryuji as much as he wanted but, deep down, he knew he was the one at fault. It was all because he was like that: selfish, unreliable, childish… He could make a thousand Phan-sites if he so wished, and it still wouldn’t be enough to compensate for the terrible person he was.

He didn’t leave his bedroom until night came. His parents scolded him for leaving the door unlocked, but he didn’t care… Why should it matter? All they ever did was complain about every single thing he did, no matter how small it was.

_Tired…_ He was so fucking tired.

He rolled over the mattress until he was on his back, reaching for his phone. As soon as he looked at the screen, however, something made him jolt up. A red icon that he had seen before, but not on his phone. That was…

“Metaverse?” he muttered to himself.

But… why did that app appear on _his_ cell phone? He wasn’t a Phantom Thief… There was no reason for it to be there. He didn’t even have a persona.

No, he didn’t. Something that Ryuji told him before suddenly came to mind: persona users couldn’t have palaces. And he wasn’t a persona user…

It couldn’t be… right?

As much as he didn’t want to think about that, it was a possibility: Futaba had a palace herself, and she became a persona user. According to what he knew, the app appeared on her phone while her palace still existed.

Yuuki felt his palms sweating, a cold, bad feeling going down his spine. A voice inside his head told him to let go of that phone, and pretend he didn’t see anything. Instead, however, he brought the phone to his face, then stopped. He hesitated, unsure if he was ready to know the answer to the question. Still… he _had_ to.

“Yuuki Mishima,” he said.

There was a match. Yuuki let go of his phone, moving away from it.

“What…?” he muttered.

_No… No, no, no…_ That wasn’t right. There couldn’t be a palace associated with him. He must have heard it wrong.

Yuuki cautiously reached for his phone, needing an entire minute to gather the courage to actually grab it, looking at the screen. No, he wasn’t wrong… There really was a palace for “Yuuki Mishima”. His heart sank, panic seeming about to hit him.

But it didn’t come. Instead, his initial shock subsided a little, giving him enough space in his mind to think. He had a palace, that much was unquestionable; and, if things stayed like that, soon the Phantom Thieves would find out about it too. That thought was scarier to him than the palace itself: if they found out, they would change his heart.

Yuuki took some deep breaths. He had a palace… What did that mean? Was he such a bad person? He knew he had a lot of problems, and did many things he was ashamed of, but… Was it bad enough to create a _palace?_

No, the reasons didn’t matter. He had to do something about it, before the Phantom Thieves found out. Maybe he deserved a change of heart, but… He just couldn’t bear the thought of the people he admired so much finding out something so terrible about himself.

What had Ryuji said to him? A name, then a place… that was it, right?

“I don’t know…” he muttered. “School?”

Wrong answer. Yuuki groaned to himself: that had been the most obvious choice. He tried to think of other things that could make sense.

“Train station?” No. “Library?” No. “Arcade?” No. “Gym?” No.

He kept trying one thing after another, without success. His frustration started to grow, and he fell on his back over the mattress, trying to think of anything else. He looked at the ceiling, and that was when a possibility hit him. He brought his phone close to his mouth, whispering.

“Home.”

It was a match.

“Really?”

He was surprised, but also relieved to finally have the answer. The name, the place… Oh, of course… the distortion. What he would see his palace as. That was easier said than done.

“Prison?” No, that sounded more like something related to Akira. “Hell?” Too dark, even for him. “Video game?” He actually had hopes for that one, but it wasn’t it either. “Damn, I have no idea…”

He thought for a long time. What would a distortion caused by his heart look like? There were many possibilities, but none of them seemed plausible. He still kept trying, however, only to receive a no after another. It crossed his mind that, maybe, the Phantom Thieves would have less difficulty uncovering the answer than himself. That thought was so disheartening that it made him laugh. Really, his life was just like…

Yuuki widened his eyes. ‘ _Sometimes, I feel like my life is nothing but a bad comedy show, with me being the butt of all jokes.’_

Could it be…?

“TV show?” he said.

This time, he heard a different phrase: _beginning navigation._

For a moment, Yuuki had the feeling the world was twisting and warping around him. He closed his eyes, instinctively grabbing his phone with both hands. The feeling of the mattress under his body was replaced by the one of a cold floor, and that difference was what made him open his eyes again.

He was in a completely different place. It looked like a large TV studio, with people running from one place to the other, some in extravagant costumes, as if filming a sci-fi, or fantasy show.

“Holy shit…”

It took a moment for Yuuki to notice that, even the people without a costume, didn’t seem actually… human. They had limbs longer than normal, and something about the way they moved was uncomfortably uncanny. Besides, their faces were covered by strange—and creepy—masks.

Could those be the shadows that he had heard about? Yuuki imagined them creepy enough, but seeing them from so close made everything much worse. He tried to move away from those creatures, only managing to retreat two steps before his back hit something. He looked over his shoulder, seeing a shadow in a security-guard attire. Before he could even properly process the situation, the shadow emitted a sharp, loud yell.

“What?” muttered Yuuki.

An alarm started to ring, red lights covering the entire place as all those shadows turned to face him with their weird, mask-looking faces. Yuuki’s brain froze, but his self-preservation instinct made him move. He ran away, not even daring to look back, aware of the sound of many disturbing creatures following him, screaming and grunting in anger. He had no idea where he was going, crossing the corridors without any plan, hoping that he wouldn’t hit a dead end.

Aware that he couldn’t keep running forever, Yuuki approached a door, relieved to realize it was unlocked. He got inside that room, shutting the door behind his back. It didn’t take a second for the shadows to start pounding against it, ready to bring it down. The wood started to snap with a cracking sound. Blades, claws, and ice stakes made their way through.

_Shit..._ He was about to die, wasn’t he?

Yuuki sat on the floor, hugging his knees against his chest and closing his eyes, unable to move. But the shadows didn’t come in. There was a commotion outside, but the shadows were no longer attacking the door. They still roared and screamed, but now there was another, familiar voice there, stronger and louder than theirs.

“Captain Kidd!”

Yuuki widened his eyes, his heart jumping in his chest.

“Ryuji?” he muttered.

He stood up, facing the door. The sounds of the shadows started to die down as the battle continued. Without thinking, Yuuki ran to the door, opening it just in time to see Ryuji hit the last standing shadow with a bat.

“Ryuji!” yelled Yuuki before he could stop himself.

Ryuji quickly turned to face him, raising his bat again, ready to attack. Yuuki felt his heart skip a beat, taking a step back and covering his face with both arms.

“Ryuji, stop!” he yelled. “It’s me!”

The bat didn’t come down. Yuuki risked a glance at Ryuji, who stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Yuuki?” He took a step in his direction, taking his mask off to take a better look at his face. “Wait… You’re the real one? What are you doin’ here?”

Yuuki opened his mouth, but his answer was muffled by the sound of more approaching shadows. Ryuji clicked his tongue.

“Shit…” He reached for Yuuki’s wrist, pulling him along as he started to run. “Come with me!”

Yuuki didn’t question him. They ran through that place for what seemed like an eternity before Ryuji pulled him inside a room, closing the door. Yuuki stared at him in disbelief, ready to say that doors weren’t enough to hold back those creatures. However, instead of trying to go inside, they passed by that room without stopping for even a second. Yuuki let out his breath, his legs seeming about to give in at any moment. Ryuji placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s fine…” he said. “This is a safe room, the shadows won’t get in. We’re safe.”

Yuuki could do nothing but nod. Ryuji carefully guided him to a couch, and Yuuki took a seat, hugging his own arms, staring at the floor without seeing it, his mind still filled with the sight and sound of those disgusting creatures. Ryuji crouched in front of him, carefully placing his hands on Yuuki’s arms, looking at his face.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

He was unable to speak for a while, struggling to even find an answer to that simple question.

“I thought I was going to die…” he muttered.

“You won’t,” guaranteed Ryuji. “Nothin’ bad is gonna happen to you, okay?”

He nodded again, his breath and heartbeat slowly coming back to a normal rhythm.

“What the fuck is goin’ on…?” muttered Ryuji, to then look at Yuuki’s face. “How did you get in here?”

“The app…” said Yuuki. “It appeared on my phone, so I…” He stopped talking, staring at Ryuji, finally grasping the fact that he was inside his palace as well. “Wait… why are _you_ here?”

Before he got an answer, the pieces fell into place in Yuuki’s head. His heart sank with that realization.

“You came to change my heart, didn’t you?” he asked in a weak voice.

Ryuji seemed almost shocked by that suggestion.

“‘Course not!” he said.

It was hard to believe his words, given the situation.

“Then, why are you here?” insisted Yuuki in a loud voice. “What other reason could you have?”

“To find a way to make things right,” answered Ryuji. “After our fight, I… I just got this weird feelin’ about the stuff you said, so I tried your name, and there was a palace for it.” He made a pause. “That’s why I came alone… I thought you wouldn’t want the others knowin’ about it.”

That answer seemed to lift a weight from Yuuki’s chest.

“I… really wouldn’t,” he admitted.

The relief seemed to clear his mind a little, allowing him to think better about that situation.

“I really have a palace, don’t I…?” He let out a tired, humorless chuckle. “Talk about irony…”

“Hey…”

Ryuji opened his mouth, but couldn’t say anything else. Yuuki couldn’t blame him: what could he even say to something like that?

“I knew something was wrong,” admitted Yuuki in a low voice. “In the past few days, I could feel nothing but anger… It was even scary how much I resented all of you. I was afraid I could even come to hate you.”

“Was it my fault?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki looked at him, surprised by that question.

“No, I…”

“Yuuki,” Ryuji interrupted him in a serious voice. “Was it my fault?”

Yuuki sighed, averting his gaze.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “Part of it, I think. But it’s not like you did anything wrong,” he quickly added. “I just…”

He tried, but couldn’t find a proper way to explain it.

“Is it ‘cause I got too over my head with this Phantom Thief stuff?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki shook his head.

“I don’t know…” he said. “Sorry, but I really don’t know.”

The entire situation was still too much for him to comprehend, and, the more he tried, the more confused he got. _Why a palace? It didn’t make any sense!_

“Am I a bad person?” he asked in a low voice.

“‘Course not!” answered Ryuji.

“Then why do I have a palace?” Yuuki clenched his fists. “That must mean that I’m worse than all those people I investigated for you…” He shook his head, raising his voice. “It must mean that I’m on the same level as people like Kamoshida!”

“Don’t compare yourself to that guy!” Noticing his elevated voice, Ryuji took a deep breath, proceeding in a calmer one. “You just… probably have a lotta stuff to deal with, like Futaba did.”

“But Futaba thought her mother died because of her,” reminded Yuuki. “She had a _real_ reason.”

“And you’ve got a reason too,” said Ryuji. “We just don’t know what it is yet.”

Yuuki didn’t answer, still unable to let go of those thoughts. Ryuji’s hands went down his arms, until they were over Yuuki’s, gently squeezing them.

“Try not to let it get to you, okay?” he said. “We’ll find a way outta this.”

Yuuki nodded. He looked at Ryuji, who offered him an encouraging smile. It made something stir painfully inside his chest.

“Ryuji…” he said. “I’m so sorry for everything I said earlier.”

“Don’t worry about that,” answered Ryuji. “I said some bad stuff too.”

“But I _really_ was a dick to you. I was so childish and full of myself…” He sighed. “It’s embarrassing to even remember how I reacted.”

“You just said what was hurtin’ you.” Ryuji considered his own words for a moment. “Maybe you should’ve done it before you got to your limit, like that.”

_Before he had an entire palace for himself…_

“Sorry…” muttered Yuuki.

“Stop apologizin’,” said Ryuji, “If we wanna get rid of this place without takin’ your heart, then you need to face your own feelings, just like Futaba did back then.”

“I guess so…”

Yuuki tried to keep those words in his mind. Find the reason… He only had to find the reason, and then deal with it instead of running away, like he always did. It sounded easy enough in theory, but…

“But I really don’t know what caused this…” he said. “I tried to think about it, but I have no idea. I can’t think of anything bad enough to create a palace!”

“Well… that complicates things a little.”

He was taken by a strong urge to cry from how frustrated he was at himself.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

Ryuji squeezed his hands again, making Yuuki look at him.

“Hey, it’s fine,” he said. “We’ll find out together, okay?” Ryuji stopped talking, thinking for a moment. “Maybe if we look around a little, it’ll help you think of somethin’. Your heart made this place, after all.”

“I know you’re right, but I…” He lowered his voice. “I don’t want you to see… whatever may be here.”

“But you can’t go through a palace on your own!” insisted Ryuji. “You’ve got no persona!”

“I… I know…”

Just the thought of it was enough to make Yuuki’s stomach turn. He had no idea what they would find in that place, but, no matter what it was, he knew it would be something he wouldn’t want anyone to ever see, much less someone who mattered so much to him.

“Listen, Yuuki…” said Ryuji in a patient tone. “I can only imagine how hard this is for you, but… You already saw me at my worst.” He shook his head with a loud sigh. “Shit… I was even thinkin’ about dyin’ at the time. I was a jerk to you, and even then you stayed by my side.” He stopped talking for a moment, looking into Yuuki’s eyes as he proceeded in a lower voice. “No matter what I see here, I won’t think less of you for it, okay? I promise.”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” asked Yuuki.

“I’m serious.”

Yuuki hesitated, desperately trying to find another solution, in vain.

“There is no other way, is it?” he asked.

“Not really,” admitted Ryuji. “Can you trust me? Please?”

Despite how much he hated the idea, Yuuki ended up nodding.

“Alright.”

Ryuji seemed relieved with his decision. Yuuki tried not to think of what was going through his mind at the moment, clinging to his promise that things wouldn’t change.

“Ah, right…” Ryuji’s voice grabbed his attention again. “While we’re here it’s better if you call me Skull. It ain’t good to keep sayin’ our names on the Metaverse, n’ all that.” He thought for a moment. “We should think of a name for you too…”

Yuuki shrug.

“Anything will do.”

“Really?” Ryuji raised his brow. “Gonna pass up the chance to get your own Phantom name?”

He couldn’t hold back a tiny smile: it was obvious that Ryuji was trying to cheer him up.

“Do I look like that much of a nerd to you?” asked Yuuki.

“That’s a dumb question,” answered Ryuji. “You’re, like, nerd king himself.”

“Do I need to remind you of your manga shelf?”

“I didn’t say _I_ was much better.”

Yuuki chuckled, shaking his head.

“I don’t know…” he said. “Just call me _nerd_ , then.”

“You can’t be serious.”

Ryuji’s expression made it clear that he wouldn’t accept that one. Yuuki thought for a second, nothing too catchy coming to mind.

“Then, I don’t know… Moon?”

“Moon?” repeated Ryuji.

Yuuki nodded.

“It’s the name I used—”

“To play games online,” completed Ryuji with an amused smile. “MoonShadow99.”

His words hit Yuuki like a bag of bricks.

“Why do you remember _that?”_ he asked.

“How could I forget? It was so edgy.”

Yuuki groaned, embarrassed. His reaction earned a giggle from Ryuji.

“Okay,” said Ryuji. “Moon it is, then.”

His slightly provocative tone made Yuuki sigh. In the end, however, he gave in with a small nod.

“Alright, Skull.”

“See?” Ryuji offered him a smile, placing the mask over his face again. “You’re already gettin’ used to it.” His cheerful expression changed to a more serious one as he approached the door. “We better avoid as many fights as we can. Try to be as quiet as possible, okay? And stay close to me.”

Yuuki nodded. He moved closer to Ryuji, following him outside of that room. The shadows were gone already, thankfully, but Yuuki had the feeling the peace wouldn’t last for long. They explored the place for a few minutes, without finding anything that seemed relevant. As they went further into the palace, however, they reached a door unlike the others: big and green, with bright golden letters covering it.

“Fortune Roulette…?” read Ryuji.

Yuuki twisted his lips.

“Well, that _does_ sound like a cheesy afternoon show…” he said.

Before he could even suggest that they took a look inside, the sound of shadows approaching the area startled him.

“Fuck…” said Ryuji, tightening the grip on his bat. “There they are.”

Yuuki heard a noise behind him, looking over his shoulder only to see more shadows coming from behind them. They were cornered.

“Skull…!” he said.

“Let’s get inside!” answered Ryuji, turning the door’s handle and pulling Yuuki along.

As soon as the door closed, they were surrounded by darkness. Yuuki couldn’t see even an inch in front of his face, but the silence in the room reassured him: there didn’t seem to be shadows around.

“What is this place?” he muttered.

“I don’t know…” He heard Ryuji’s shaky voice next to him. “But I don’t do well in dark places…”

_Oh, shit…_ He completely forgot about that detail. Concerned, Yuuki moved closer to Ryuji, feeling the air until he found his friend’s hand, holding it.

“It’s alright…” he whispered. “It won’t be for long.”

Ryuji squeezed his hand, then let out a weak, humorless chuckle.

“My bad…” he said. “I should be the one keepin’ you safe, not the other way around.”

“Come on, Skull…” protested Yuuki in disbelief. “You just saved my life minutes ago! This is nothing in comparison.”

Before Ryuji could say anything in return, a loud alert echoed in the entire room.

_Attention. The live transmission of Fortune Roulette is about to begin. Please, direct yourselves to studio one immediately. Attention. The live transmission of Fortune Roulette is about to begin._

“Studio one…?” repeated Yuuki. “Is it where we are?”

“I think it is,” Ryuji clicked his tongue. “Let’s get outta here.”

They faced the door, and Yuuki heard the sound of Ryuji turning the handle.

“The door’s locked!” said Ryuji.

“What?”

_Please, direct yourselves to studio one immediately. Attention. The live transmission of Fortune Roulette is about to begin._

“Are the shadows coming?” asked Yuuki, feeling the panic start to grow in his chest.

“I don’t know…” said Ryuji. “Shit… I can see nothin’!”

_Please, direct yourselves to studio one immediately. Ten seconds for the beginning of the transmission. Ten. Nine. Eight._

His lungs seemed to be filled with lead. Ryuji pulled him closer.

“Don’t worry…” he said. “I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

_Five. Four._

Yuuki closed his eyes, burying his face on Ryuji’s chest.

_Three. Two. One._

He didn’t know what he expected to happen, but hearing the sound of loud, cheerful music didn’t even make the list. He opened his eyes, realizing that the lights were on, revealing a huge amount of shadows sitting on rows of chairs. In the center of it all was a stage with a colorful roulette on it, and above it, a giant screen showed in detail and high-definition what was happening on the stage.

“What the hell just happened?” asked Ryuji.

“We’re in the show…” said Yuuki. “It seems like we’re part of the audience.”

A loud buzzing sound grabbed their attention, and a message appeared on the screen: _“Please, take your seats”._ Yuuki looked to the side, seeing two empty seats next to them. The shadows started to look at them, grunting impatient.

“What do we do?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can fight all of these shadows,” whispered Ryuji through his teeth. “We better do as it says, for now.”

“Alright.”

As soon as they took their seats, a person entered the stage, waving around with one hand while spinning a golden cane with the other, being welcomed by excited cheers and screams. She was wearing bright green clothes with a golden bowtie and a green tophat, and as soon as the cameras zoomed in on her face, Yuuki’s jaw dropped.

“Is that… Kawakami?” said Ryuji.

It was… But she was barely recognizable in that attire, and under a thick layer of makeup.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” she said. “Welcome to another episode of the most watched and beloved quiz show of the Japanese television: Fortune Roulette!”

The cheers became even louder, to the point it made Yuuki’s head hurt.

“Now, I present to you our brave contestants!” She indicated the dark area at the back of the stage with a wide gesture. “Shadow number one!”

Behind Kawakami, the lights went on, revealing a big and lean shadow with long limbs and fingers. Screams, claps, and whistles spread throughout the audience.

“Shadow number two!”

The lights revealed another shadow, this time a smaller one with two pairs of arms and a giant mouth on its stomach. More cheering.

“And finally…” Kawakami’s face contorted into a grimace as she said the final name in a monotone voice. “Yuuki Mishima.”

The lights revealed the final contestant, who was a split image of Yuuki, but with golden eyes. He looked around with a nervous smile, waving awkwardly to the audience. The cheers stopped, giving place to frustrated booing. The true Yuuki almost jumped out of his seat.

“That’s…” his voice cracked. “That’s my…?”

He didn’t even need to finish his sentence. Ryuji looked at him, confirming with a nod.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen!” proceeded Kawakami. “You know what time it is now? It’s time to…” she made a dramatic pause. “Spin the roulette!”

She used her cane to spin the roulette, and a suspenseful soundtrack played on the background until it finally stopped.

“So, the theme we got is… Animation!”

Yuuki felt some relief in his chest: animation had always been one of his major interests.

“Well, that doesn’t seem too bad…” he muttered.

“First question,” said Kawakami. “What animated movie marks the beginning of the ‘Disney Renaissance’?”

Shadow Yuuki pressed the button in front of him, a big, confident smile on his lips.

“That’s easy,” he said, “it’s The Little…”

A loud buzz muffled his answer.

“Time’s out!” announced Kawakami. “The right answer was The Little Mermaid.”

“But you didn’t even let me—”

“He got the wrong answer…” she interrupted him, looking at the audience. “You know what that means, don’t you? It’s time for…” Dramatic pause. “Punishment!”

“What?” said Yuuki.

“Bring in the punishment roulette!” said Kawakami with a theatrical spin.

A second, smaller roulette, appeared at the center of the stage. Kawakami spun it, and a dramatic tune worth of an horror movie played until it finally fell on a simplified drawing of a bucket of water. Kawakami snapped her fingers, and, in the next moment, water poured from above shadow Yuuki, falling on him like a waterfall, making him lose his balance and fall on his butt. The audience laughed as he tried to get up, only to slip on the water and fall once again.

“That’s not fair!” protested Yuuki.

“Yeah,” agreed Ryuji in a frustrated tone. “But we can do nothin’ but watch for now.”

“I know…”

Saying that, Yuuki turned his attention back to his shadow, who finally managed to stand again, coughing and trying--in vain--to dry his face with his drenched sleeve.

“Next question,” proceeded Kawakami. “Which was the first animated movie to win an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature?”

Yuuki tried to press the button, but shadow number two was faster, emitting some gurgling sounds as an answer.

“And the answer is…” Dramatic pause. “Correct! It was Shrek!”

A fanfare echoed in a loud volume, while green and red lights surrounded the shadow. The scoreboard in front of it indicated ten thousand points. The audience cheered.

“But he didn’t even say the name of the movie!” protested shadow Yuuki.

“Those were some nice Oger noises.” Kawakami shrugged, letting out a long sigh. “Come on, now… We can’t be too strict. What matters is that he knew the answer, despite not remembering the title.”

“But when I—”

“Next question,” she interrupted him. “What is called the animation technique used in the movie Fantastic Mister Fo—”

Before she could even finish her question, shadow Yuuki pressed the button.

“Stop motion,” he said, serious. “It’s called stop motion.”

The audience went silent. Kawakami stared at him, clearly annoyed.

“Well…” she said. “That’s not wrong.”

The scoreboard in front of shadow Yuuki showed one single point. He seemed about to question it, when Kawakami interrupted him.

“However…” she said. “Since you didn’t let me finish my speech, you will be penalized.”

She snapped her fingers, and shadow Yuuki’s score changed to minus ten.

“What the hell?” yelled Ryuji, standing up. “That must be against the rules!”

The entire audience of shadows turned their heads to face him. Only then Ryuji seemed to realize his mistake, slowly sitting down again.

“Fuck…” he muttered.

Yuuki couldn’t say anything in response, his eyes going from one distorted mask to the other, expecting the moment they would all jump on them at once. Instead, Kawakami’s loud and excited voice filled the entire place again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, would you look at this!” She said with a surprised smile. “It seems like we have a _very_ special guest tonight!” she laughed in delight. “Now, I present you the one, the only, the amazing… Ryuji Sakamoto!”

Another fanfare played as the camera focused on Ryuji’s face, making it appear on the giant screen. The audience enthusiastically clapped and cheered once again, while Ryuji stayed there, frozen in place.

“This ain’t good, is it?” he muttered.

“Be ready to run,” said Yuuki.

Kawakami snapped her fingers again, but instead of attacking them, a golden microphone materialized in front of Ryuji.

“What brings you here tonight, mister Sakamoto?” she asked.

Ryuji seemed completely lost. He glanced at Yuuki, who whispered for him to lie.

“I’m… just walkin’ around…?” he said.

“Walking is very good for your health…” answered Kawakami. “And I’m sure it takes some _work_ to keep a lower half like _that_ , am I right?”

She offered him a suggestive wink. The audience laughed again, while Ryuji sank on his chair, clearly uncomfortable. Yuuki wished he could disappear.

“Now, while we’re on the subject,” proceeded Kawakami, “I think it’s time for a bonus question, featuring our guest! Whoever answers it right gets double the points! However, if you get it wrong…”

There was a deflating noise, and Kawakami made a thumbs down gesture to the camera.

“So, the question is…” she continued. “Oh, this is an easy one! Who is Ryuji Sakamoto’s best friend?”

Shadow Yuuki opened a wide smile, slamming the button.

“I know! I know!” he said, excitedly. “It’s me!”

A loud buzz sound followed his words.

“Wrong!” said Kawakami, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you got such an easy question wrong! The right answer, of course, is Akira Kurusu!”

Yuuki’s stomach sank. Shadow Yuuki looked at her, confused.

“But—”

“He got the bonus answer wrong…” she interrupted him once again. “This means it’s time for the…”

Kawakami opened a wide smile, spinning around before raising her cane in the air, pointing it at shadow Yuuki.

“Ultimate punishment!”

Shadow Yuuki flinched. The audience roared. Kawakami spun the punishment roulette. It fell over a symbol that resembled someone in medieval stocks.

“Oh!” Her smile widened to the point it barely seemed human anymore. “We got a classic one!”

She snapped her fingers, and the roulette gave place to stocks like in that drawing. She repeated the gesture, and the shadows number one and two grabbed Yuuki by the arms, dragging him to it, locking him there.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen…” Kawakami made a long pause before raising both arms. “Go wild!”

Hundreds of rotten eggs and tomatoes flew from the audience, hitting shadow Yuuki from every angle, until he was covered in that putrid-smelling mixture. The audience laughed and roared as he tried to free himself, only to be hit on the face by an egg.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen,” said Kawakami when the rain of rotten food finally stopped, “while our staff cleans this mess, let’s take a brief moment to hear a word from our sponsors!”

She snapped her fingers one last time, and a hole opened up under Yuuki’s feet, making him fall with a surprised scream, disappearing from their sights. The lights went out, and the giant screen started to play what seemed to be a commercial from the fifties. It featured Ryuji and Yuuki sitting side by side on a couch, using clothes of the time. Yuuki moved his mouth non-stop, while Ryuji seemed bored.

_Are you tired of your old, whinny friend following you everywhere? Don’t worry! Your problems will be over as soon as you get a new, Improved Friend!_

Suddenly, Yuuki was pushed out of the couch by Akira, who took his place chatting with Ryuji—who now seemed much happier.

_He is cool, handsome, and funny, unlike the old one! Doesn’t that sound amazing? So, don’t miss our special offer! If you get one Improved Friend today, you’ll take home seven… I said SEVEN Improved Friends!_

The other Phantom Thieves appeared one after the other, stepping on the fallen Yuuki as they took their place around a beaming Ryuji.

_With so many amazing friends around, you won’t even remember that pitiful, annoying one!”_

The commercial ended with a happy tune, zooming in on Yuuki’s sad face as the screen faded to black. The lights went back on, but now they were on an empty studio, with no sign of Kawakami or the audience of shadows. Yuuki kept his gaze on his lap, afraid to look at Ryuji.

“Skull, I…” he started to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Ryuji’s response took him by surprise, making him look at his friend.

“Why are you the one apologizing?” he asked.

“I didn’t realize you were feelin’ like this…” said Ryuji. “I was so focused on bein’ a Phantom Thief that I…” he stopped talking, lowering his eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

Yuuki stared at his guilty expression for a moment, then raised both hands, frantically waving them in front of his face.

“No…!” he said. “You shouldn’t be apologizing. You have the right to make new friends… And you’re helping people as a Phantom Thief!” He bit his lip, fidgeting with the end of his t-shirt as he proceeded in a lower tone. “I should have understood it better, but… But I missed our time together so much that I let it grow into something… ugly.”

He didn’t know how else to explain it. Ryuji looked at him with a serious expression.

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” he asked.

A bittersweet feeling took Yuuki’s chest.

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry for doubting it.”

“Good.”

Ryuji offered him a smile, which Yuuki soon returned. Before any of them could say anything else, however, the screen lighted up again, startling them.

“Another one?” said Ryuji.

It seemed to be another commercial. It started with the camera almost glued to a muscular, sweaty abdomen, slowly zooming out to reveal… Kamoshida. He was wearing what Yuuki could only describe as the outfit a wealthy housewife would wear during her particular Yoga classes—including purplish-gray yoga pants, a bright orange crop-top, and a matching headband. He kept making exaggerated poses to show off his muscles, while motivational workout music played on the background.

_“You there!”_ he said, pointing at the camera while making squats. _“Looking to stay healthy, while having fun at other people’s misery?”_ He changed to push-ups with a single hand. _“Then make sure to watch Kamoshida’s Fitness Paradise, on studio number two!”_ He made a burpee to get back on his feet, flexing his arm. _“It starts in twenty minutes, so don’t be late...”_

Kamoshida stopped smiling, leaning in the camera’s direction, whispering in a menacing voice:

_“Or I’ll make you run another fifty laps.”_

The screen blacked out again, and, for some time, neither of them was able to react to what they had just seen.

“Why is Kamoshida here?” asked Yuuki.

“Probably ‘cause he made your life a hell while he was around…” answered Ryuji in a bitter tone. “But we should go take a look at this studio two… it could help you figure things out.”

That made sense, but didn’t help in making Yuuki feel any less uncomfortable.

“A sports program this time?” he said in a tired voice. “I’m not looking forward to it…”

Ryuji placed a hand around his shoulder.

“Hey…” he said. “I’m here with you. And I won’t let anythin’ bad happen to you.”

“I know…” said Yuuki. “But it’s still scary.”

They stood up, then walked to the door, glad to see that it was unlocked again.

“Any shadows around?” asked Yuuki.

“Don’t think so.” Ryuji glanced back at him. “Any idea where studio two is?”

He shook his head. They kept walking, cautiously exploring the place like before, finding a few items along the way, hoping that they would come across studio number two at some point.

“A map would help right now…” Ryuji sighed. “Damn, teaches me to appreciate Oracle’s power.”

“You know, now it’s bothering me…” Yuuki furrowed his brow. “Everyone knows I’m a nerd who loves RPGs, and my palace doesn’t even have a stupid map?”

The comment made Ryuji laugh, and the sound was comforting to Yuuki. As bad as the situation could be, having his friend with him made it all a little easier to deal with.

They managed to find the studio number two before those twenty minutes ended. The door was framed by ancient Greece-inspired columns, with the words “Kamoshida’s Fitness Paradise” written in orange, angular letters. They exchanged an uneasy glance before Ryuji opened it.

Unlike last time, the place wasn’t dark. In fact, it seemed like a common living room, with an old tube television in front of a cream-colored couch, with a lilac carpet between the two.

“I think it wants us to take a seat again,” said Yuuki.

Ryuji agreed. They approached the couch, and, exchanging brief nods, sat down. As soon as they did, the tube television went on, and that motivational music started to play. The lights went out around them, and the TV screen seemed to get bigger and bigger, until it covered their entire field of vision.

Then, Kamoshida appeared, making a variety of poses to show off his muscles before looking at the camera.

“Good morning, gorgeous ladies and pathetic chimps,” he said, running in the same place. “I, the fantastic Kamoshida, am back to brighten your day with another episode of Kamoshida’s Fitness Paradise, where you improve your health and define your muscles, all while laughing at other people’s misery!”

He stopped running, starting to make side squats.

“On today’s episode, we’ll exercise those calves and thighs, while accompanying an exciting match of Vodge Ball! An intense sport that merges volleyball and dodge ball, created by me, the fantastic Kamoshida himself!”

Kamoshida paused his squats, kissing his own biceps before looking at the camera again.

“To be fair to all of you at home, we’ll separate our training regimen between ladies and chimps. Ladies…” He offered the camera an unsettling, suggestive look, speaking in a smooth voice. “You go get pretty, put on your best underwear, and meet me outside the studio in half an hour, for a private training session.” In a second, his expression and voice changed to rigid ones. “Chimps… Five hundred squats! Starting now! And, if you complain, I’ll double it!”

Yuuki groaned to himself, already uncomfortable with that new show.

“Now, the main attraction!” proceeded Kamoshida, indicating the screen behind him, that started to show live footage of a sports court. “Kamoshida’s best creation: Vodge Ball! Featuring the best of them all… The Kamoshidakins!”

An entire team of what seemed to be high schoolers, all wearing bright-orange uniforms, entered the court. The most disturbing thing about them, however, was how all of them wore masks imitating Kamoshida’s face.

“And, against them, we have the obvious loser of today’s match: the wimp!”

The camera focused on shadow Yuuki, wearing Shujin’s P.E. uniform, carrying a tired expression.

“My name is Mishima…” he protested.

“Who cares!” proceeded Kamoshida. “Get in place, wimp!”

The two teams—if you could even call shadow Yuuki a ‘team’— got in place. The sound of the whistle echoed, and countless volleyballs fell from the ceiling, raining on the Kamoshidakin’s side of the court. Without wasting time, they started to hit them, aiming at shadow Yuuki. He tried to dodge them as much as possible, but there were too many, and soon he was on the floor, having to crawl to try and avoid even more hits.

“What a weakling!” narrated Kamoshida. “Are you seeing those noodle arms? And those legs! How do those ankles support his weight without breaking? And what’s with that girly waist? Did all of his body fat go straight to his ass?” he laughed. “As they say, the more you use it, the more it grows, right?”

Yuuki clenched his fists. He had heard it all before, countless times, but it still made a suffocating anger fill his entire chest. Ryuji placed his hand over Yuuki’s, and it helped him remember that it wasn’t real… That wasn’t the real Kamoshida, just an even more distorted version created by his heart. The true one would never hurt, or say those things to him again. He managed to relax a little—as much as it was possible in such a situation.

On the court, shadow Yuuki was already curled into a ball, trying to at least protect his face from the endless attacks.

“Look at this wimp, he’s already crying!” Kamoshida pointed at him, laughing again. “No wonder it’s so fun to hit him… He never even fights back! Destroy him, Kamoshidakins!”

Those words seemed to have an effect on shadow Yuuki, who made an effort to sit down, gritting his teeth. When the next ball approached him, he hit it with all of his strength, sending it at full speed to the other side of the court, hitting one of his opponents straight in the face. Everyone stopped, and the court went completely silent.

“I’m sorry!” Shadow Yuuki ran to his fallen opponent, clearly concerned. “Are you alright?”

He removed the person’s mask, revealing the face underneath it.

It was Shiho.

“Holy shit…” said Kamoshida in a loud and forced shocked tone. “He killed Suzui!”

Shadow Yuuki widened his eyes, looking around, scared and confused. All the other members of the team looked at him through their masks.

_“Murderer!”_ they said in unison. _“Murderer!”_

The camera zoomed in on Shiho for a moment. She looked like a broken doll on the ground, thin trails of blood coming out of her nose and mouth, just like when she…

When she...

“No…” said shadow Yuuki in a despaired voice. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to hurt her!”

_“Murderer! Murderer!”_

“I didn’t mean to…” he proceeded. “I swear I didn’t mean to!”

The mob of shadows slowly approached him, with their unstopping chanting of ‘murderer’, while shadow Yuuki curled into a ball again. The screen was turned off, and the image went back to Kamoshida, who had an annoyed expression, like a spoiled kid who was told to clean his own mess.

“Well, looks like we’ll have to interrupt our program because of that wimp…” he said, letting out an angry sigh. He stared at the camera, pointing his finger at it. “You better keep those pathetic squats going until I come back, or I’ll double them to a thousand!”

The screen went white, with an announcement in bold letters in the middle: **TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES - We’ll be back soon.** Then, it went completely black.

The lights went on again, but, for a long time, Yuuki couldn’t take his eyes out of the screen, still seeing Shiho’s lifeless face there. He leaned forward, burying his face on both hands, loud sobs leaving his mouth while the tears rolled down his face. He felt Ryuji’s arms around his shoulders, and couldn’t tell if it made him feel better or even more guilty.

“You know that wasn’t your fault, don’t you?” muttered his friend.

“But I was the one who told her to go see Kamoshida that day…” answered Yuuki between sobs. “I _told_ her to go there.”

“You didn’t know what he was gonna do.”

“So what?” Yuuki yelled, infuriated. “It’s Kamoshida we’re talking about! I should have known he was planning something like that, but I was so relieved that he was finally going to hurt someone other than me, that I—”

His voice cracked, and he needed some time to control his loud sobs before speaking again.

“It was my fault,” he said.

“It wasn’t,” insisted Ryuji. “Kamoshida is the only one at fault for what happened.”

“But I did nothing to stop him!”

“What could you have done?” Ryuji held his shoulder, trying to make Yuuki look at him. “You said it yourself before… We’re just high schoolers. As frustratin’ as it can be, we had no power against that guy.”

Yuuki knew that was true, but the words didn’t bring him any comfort. He still felt like he could have done _something_ that day… If at least he had paid more attention to Kamoshida’s expression, or followed Shiho to his office… _Anything._

“It wasn’t your fault,” repeated Ryuji.

“I wish I could believe you.”

They both stayed silent for a long while, Yuuki’s sobs being the only sound in that room.

“Let’s take a break,” said Ryuji.

Yuuki shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Let’s keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Ryuji didn’t seem pleased by his answer. Yuuki tried to stand up, but before he could, his friend held him by the arm.

“Hey, Moon…” he said. “I know you wanna take care of things more than anyone, but… Don’t push yourself, okay? I’ll understand if you need some time after this.”

“Thanks. But, really… I can keep going.”

Ryuji seemed conflicted for a moment, but ended up sighing, defeated.

“Okay,” he said. “Just tell me if you need a break.”

Yuuki forced a chuckle as he got out of the couch.

“You worry so much about me…” he said. “I said I’m—”

Ryuji hugged him, holding his head close to his chest.

“‘Course I do, you little nerd,” he said in a kind voice. “If I don’t, you won’t take care of yourself.”

That gesture seemed to break Yuuki’s defenses, and before he could stop it, he was crying again.

“I wish I could go back to that day…” he said. “Even if it made him beat me up for the entire day, I… Even if he broke all of my bones, I would never go call her!”

“I know.”

“She didn’t deserve that… She didn’t…”

Yuuki kept crying and yelling his emotions out, while Ryuji listened, holding him close in that comforting manner. It was painful… He had buried those feelings inside his chest for such a long time that, now that they had finally broken free, they hurt like nothing else. Still, he couldn’t stop talking, and Ryuji didn’t interrupt him. He didn’t know for how long they stayed there, sharing that hug, but, at some point, Yuuki felt like it was easier to breathe.

“I haven’t talked to her since that day…” he admitted, ashamed of it. “I didn’t have the courage to.”

“I go see her with Ann sometimes,” said Ryuji. “Why don’t you come with us next time?”

The idea was enough to make him anxious.

“I don’t know…” said Yuuki. “To be honest, I’m still scared.”

“But if you keep runnin’ from it, it’ll just keep hurtin’ you.”

“Maybe…”

The screen went on again, interrupting their conversation. This time, it showed what, at first, seemed like a pair of twin puppets, the man using an out of fashion, dark blue suit with a dark red tie, and the woman using a similar dark red suit with a dark blue tie. He had his hair perfectly combed back, and hers was tied in an elegant, classic hairdo; both wore a thick layer of white face powder and red lipstick, which only added to their already uncanny appearance. They moved in perfect synchrony, using stiff, robotic movements. When they spoke, their voices didn’t sound much more human.

_“Come show your talents at the Mishima’s Family Talent Show,”_ said the woman.

_“As long as it gives us a high audience, we don’t mind what you do,”_ proceeded the man.

They faced each other, then presented a stiff and awkward dance move together.

_“Starting soon at the studio number three,”_ they said in unison, in that same robotic tone. _“If you are late, you will be severely penalized.”_

The transmission ended, and Ryuji looked at Yuuki.

“Those were…?”

“My parents,” he confirmed.

Ryuji bit his lip. He was concerned about him, Yuuki knew. Part of him wanted nothing but to go back to that warm, comforting embrace, and don’t have to think about that terrible place ever again. However, he knew doing that would solve nothing.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Wait, Moon…” said Ryuji. “Are you sure you can keep goin’? We can… I don’t know, come back here another day, if you need a break.”

Yuuki shook his head.

“No,” he said. “I’m better now. And I think I’m starting to understand this place a little better… Why it exists.”

Ryuji nodded, still seeming concerned. Yuuki offered him a small, reassuring smile.

“Let’s keep going, Skull.”

They left the room, starting their search once again. This time, it didn’t take as long to find the right place. It had a solid black door, with the words “Mishima’s Family Talent Show” written in a simple font, all in uppercase letters. Without thinking twice, they went inside.

This time, the place seemed like a theatre, still with its bright-red curtains closed. They took their place in one of the seats, Yuuki feeling more and more apprehensive with each passing second. When the curtains were finally opened, there was no music, or dramatic sound effect: only that distorted version of his parents standing at the center of the stage, side by side, staring at the audience with their blank gaze. After almost a minute of uncomfortable staring, the two of them finally spoke.

“Good afternoon,” she said. “I am the mother.”

“Good afternoon,” he said. “I am the father.”

They both bowed at the same time.

“Welcome to the Mishima’s Family Talent Show,” they said in unison. “We strive to please our audience, no matter the cost. Please, keep watching our show.”

They repeated that same, stiff dance number, without any music to accompany it. Then, as if nothing had happened, stared at the audience again.

“Today we have two guests as our juries,” informed the father.

“Our first guest is the high school punk, Ryuji Sakamoto.”

There was a canned clapping sound, despite the two of them being the only ones at that theatre. The fake Ryuji entered the stage with a sweet smile on his face, wearing his usual, bright-colored clothes.

“Sakamoto,” said the mother, “why is your hair like that? And where is your school uniform?”

“Stop, dear,” answered the father. “We are live. We must appeal to the younger audience.”

“That is true,” she agreed. “You have beautiful hair and clothes. Please, keep watching our show.”

“He already is in our show, dear.”

“That is true.” She didn’t acknowledge her mistake in any other way, focusing her attention on fake Ryuji once again. “Welcome to our show, Sakamoto. Please take a seat.”

Fake Ryuji kept smiling as he obeyed, as if he hadn’t even heard that weird exchange.

“Glad to be here!” he said in a friendly tone. “I had some better things to do today, but I came here ‘cause Yuuki asked me to, and he’s my friend!”

Those words were like a punch to Yuuki’s guts, and he made an effort not to let it show.

“Thank you, Sakamoto,” said the mother. “Our second guest is the son I always wished to have, Akira Kurusu.”

Another punch… Yuuki bit his lip, watching as Akira entered the stage, accompanied by more canned clapping. To put it bluntly, he looked like a pimp: a bright pink shirt with red patterns, open halfway to show his chest, shiny black leather pants, and big sunglasses—way too big for his face.

“Hey there…” He took his seat beside Ryuji, placing his feet over the table and taking a look around. “This place sucks!”

“Thank you very much,” said the mother.

“Please, keep watching our show,” asked the father.

Ryuji leaned in Yuuki’s direction.

“Moon…” he whispered. “I know it’s a dumb question, but… Is this how you see Joker?”

“I… don’t know,” answered Yuuki, probably as shocked as Ryuji was. “I didn’t think so… until this moment.”

Ryuji didn’t say anything else, and Yuuki didn’t know if that made him feel relieved or not.

“The show is about to begin,” said the mother. “Please, bring your attention to the stage.”

“Now we will introduce you to today’s contestant.” The father indicated the back of the stage with a stiff gesture, being mimicked by the mother. “Yuuki Mishima, also known as: disappointment.”

The only person who clapped was fake Ryuji—apparently, he didn’t even deserve those caned claps. The lights at the back of the stage went on, revealing shadow Yuuki there, smiling and waving awkwardly, as usual.

“Welcome, disappointment,” said the father.

“What talent are you going to show us today?” asked the mother.

“Ah, right…”

Shadow Yuuki reached for the table behind him, holding a laptop, showing its content to the others.

“What is that?” asked the father.

“It’s a site I made,” he said with a proud smile. “It still needs some finishing touches, but it’s already functional, with five interactive pages and a simple forum. The design is modern and responsive, and—”

“Boo… boring!” Akira interrupted him, rolling his eyes. “Who cares about a stupid site?”

The father and the mother agreed with synchronized nods.

“Is that all, disappointment?” asked the mother.

Shadow Yuuki seemed at a loss.

“Ah… yes,” he said, closing his laptop.

“We will call in the votes,” said the father. “Akira Kurusu, if you please.”

“I’ll give it a one,” said Akira with a smirk, “but just because the laptop didn’t explode.”

“Thank you very much,” said the mother. “Ryuji Sakamoto, if you please.”

Ryuji smiled, but it seemed slightly forced.

“A seven…” he said. “For the effort.”

The father raised his arm, looking at what seemed to be a giant watch on his wrist, pressing some buttons on it.

“That gives his first talent a total score of… four,” he said. “That is an unsatisfactory score.”

Shadow Yuuki seemed to deflate at those words. The mother mimicked the father, pressing some buttons on a similar device around her wrist.

“Dear, we have a problem,” she said. “Our audience is not pleased with our contestant.”

“It can’t stay like this,” said the father, to then look at shadow Yuuki. “Do you have something better to show?”

“Ah… Sure!” he answered, sounding more confident than he looked. “I mean…” He held a pile of paper divided into four thick blocks, offering one to each of them. “I have this story I finished writing last week. It’s about—”

“Is that _sci-fi fantasy_?” said Akira as soon as he glanced at the summary. “Did you really bring that shitty, childish book to a talent show?”

He threw the papers behind himself, letting them scatter on the floor. The father and the mother exchanged an emotionless look, then did the same.

“That is against the rules,” said the mother.

“Only real writing can be judged,” added the father.

The two of them faced Akira, then simultaneously bowed to him.

“Please, keep watching our show,” they said in unison.

“But it _is_ real writing!” protested Yuuki. “It took an entire year to finish!”

“Not real writing.”

“Your second entry was disqualified.”

“Please keep watching our show.”

Yuuki opened his mouth to protest, but gave up, lowering his gaze. Akira wheezed, slapping his own thigh before pointing at Yuuki.

“Serves him right!” he said. “Who would ever read garbage like that?”

“C’mon…” said Ryuji, carefully moving his own pages to the floor. “Don’t be so mean to him. He spent an entire year on this thing… I’m sure he’s tryin’ his best.”

The father and the mother turned to face shadow Yuuki, staring at him.

“Anything else?” they asked.

Shadow Yuuki seemed about to panic. He looked from one person to the other, as if asking for help—which didn’t come. After some seconds of tension, he finally grabbed the figure of a mecha from an old show he used to watch.

“I… I assembled and painted this garage kit myself!” he said. “It… It took a long time and much effort, but—”

The father and the mother approached him, then both raised their arms, slapping the figure out of shadow Yuuki’s hands, making it fall and break by his feet.

“That’s not a talent,” said the father.

“Just a waste of time,” agreed the mother.

Akira laughed again, then looked at fake Ryuji.

“Can you believe this nerd?” he asked, pointing at shadow Yuuki.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” said fake Ryuji, sounding unsure of his own words. “I mean… I’m sure it could be worse.”

“You’re too nice to him, Ryuji,” Akira let out an impatient sigh. “Why do a guy like you care so much about a loser like him?”

Fake Ryuji seemed embarrassed, averting his gaze.

“He has no other friends…” he said. “If I’m not nice to him, no one else will.”

“That’s his own problem!” retorted Akira. “What do you even get out of being his friend, anyway?”

Fake Ryuji furrowed his brow, seeming to make an enormous effort to think of an answer.

“Nothin’, really…” he said after a while. “I just hear his whining, and then I smile and tell him he’s doing a good job, even if he isn’t.” He sighed, tired. “Then he still complains that I’m not doing enough… It’s really tirin’ sometimes.”

“Come on, Ryuji…” Akira placed a hand on his back, leaning in his direction. “You deserve better than that.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” said the mother, once again checking the device on her wrist, “but our audience is reaching a critical low.”

“Disappointment,” said the father, looking at shadow Yuuki, “you better show us a real talent this time.”

Shadow Yuuki opened his mouth, but couldn’t say anything for a long while. Akira whispered something to fake Ryuji, and the two of them discreetly left the stage together. If anything, that seemed to make the shadow even more nervous.

“I…” his voice cracked. “I don’t think I have anything that will be good enough for you.”

For a long time, neither the father nor the mother spoke, staring at him. Then, for the first time, their blank faces showed some emotion: anger.

“That is inconceivable!” said the mother.

“Why is someone with no talents in a talent show?” asked the father.

They gestured in an exaggerated way, squashing and stretching like old cartoons—except that, instead of funny or endearing, they were terrifying.

“You just wasted our time and money!” accused the mother, pulling out huge chunks of her own hair.

“How could you soil the name of our family like this?” the father’s head spun around, smoke leaving his nose like a steam train.

Suddenly, the stage was in flames. Even so, they continued their accusations, getting more and more cartoonish with each word. Shadow Yuuki retreated until his back was against the wall, then let his body fall to the ground, covering his ears with both hands in an attempt to silence those loud screams.

“Our audience reached a zero!” said the mother. “Both our guests are gone!”

“Our show is getting canceled!” said the father. “We are ruined, and it is all your fault!”

The flames spread quickly, now burning the clothes of those two, who didn’t acknowledge it in any way. Shadow Yuuki curled into a ball, unmoving.

“You destroyed the Mishima Family,” said both in unison. “You are nothing but a disappointment!”

Their pale faces started to melt under the heat like wax, dripping on the floor.

“Disappointment,” they repeated in unison, like a broken record. “Disappointment. Disappointment. Disappointment. Disappointment. Disa—”

The curtains closed, shutting off the noise. No claps, no music… only silence. Yuuki glanced at Ryuji, who kept his gaze low.

“Skull…” he started to say.

Ryuji clenched his fists.

“I wasn’t lyin’,” he said in a low, frustrated voice. “Whenever I said you’re hardworkin’, or smart, or anythin’ like that, I really meant it.”

The tone of his voice was even more painful than the things Yuuki saw at that stage.

“I know,” he said.

Ryuji shook his head in disbelief, a humorless chuckle leaving his lips.

“Do you really?”

Yuuki opened his mouth, but didn’t answer. Ryuji threw his head back, closing his eyes for a moment, letting out a tired sigh.

“You never believed me, did you?” he asked. “Not even when I said you’re my friend.”

His chest tightened, and still, he couldn’t find the words. Ryuji took a deep breath, sitting straight again. He forced a smile, but all it did was make him look even more miserable.

“My bad,” he said. “I shouldn’t be the one gettin’ upset right now.”

He probably meant to end the subject there, but Yuuki didn’t want to let things stay that way.

“I believed you,” he had to force the words out of his mouth. “I swear I did. But, sometimes… when I’m sad, or upset, I…” He made a pause, taking a deep breath. “These bad thoughts seem to fill my head, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. When it’s bad enough, I can’t believe you really see me as a friend, even if I want to… Just like earlier today.”

He faced Ryuji, who still didn’t look at him.

“I never wanted to doubt it,” he added, “but sometimes I…”

Yuuki was unable to finish his phrase. He was starting to get angry at himself and his difficulty in expressing his feelings, when Ryuji’s low voice called his attention.

“I think I get it,” he said.

“Do you?”

Ryuji nodded.

“Sometimes, I feel like this too.” He hesitated for a moment. “When I’m with the Phantom Thieves.”

His words took Yuuki by surprise.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah…” Ryuji crossed his arms, staring at those closed curtains. “It’s like, they’re on a whole new level, all of them. They’re all so strong, and smart, and amazing, and I…” a tired smile took his lips. “I’m just stickin’ along ‘cause, somehow, I ended up with a persona too. I’m always messin’ things up, and they’re always yellin’ at me for that.” He lowered his voice. “Sometimes, I feel like they’re just puttin’ up with me ‘cause they’ve got no choice.”

Ryuji pressed his own arms with his fingers, slowly letting his breath out.

“I hate feelin’ like this…” he said. “Part of me knows they see me as a friend, but, sometimes, it’s so hard to believe.”

Yuuki observed him for a long while. Ryuji always seemed so happy with his friends… He could never have imagined that he had such things on his mind.

“I had no idea…” he said. “I mean, you guys seem to fit together so well. Like a dream group of superheroes.”

“Except I’m just the clown of the gang.” Ryuji shrugged. “So I’m always tryin’ my best, takin’ all the hits, and endurin’ it whenever they make fun of me, even when it hurts. ‘Cause I’m scared they’ll leave me behind if I ain’t useful to them anymore.”

Not knowing what to say, Yuuki moved closer to him, placing a hand on his knee.

“Did you ever tell them how you feel?” he asked.

Ryuji laughed, humorless.

“No way…” he said. “I’m too coward for that.”

Yuuki nodded.

“I can understand…” he said. “This, what you said… This is how I feel about you, sometimes. That you keep being my friend out of pity because I have no one else.”

His words finally made Ryuji look at him.

“Sorry…” he said. “I never wanted to make you feel like that… Especially ‘cause, y’know…” he hesitated for a moment, seeming slightly embarrassed. “You’re the only friend I can never doubt that really likes me, no matter what.”

“Me?”

Yuuki’s shocked reaction made Ryuji laugh—this time in a sincere way.

“You stuck with me after you saw me at my worst,” he explained. “And you had no reason for that… You simply chose to. My old team, my classmates… They all turned their backs on me, but you never did. Even when they talked shit about you being the friend of a delinquent, you still didn’t leave.” He stopped for a second, looking Yuuki in the eyes. “Whenever those doubts really got to me, thinkin’ about you made me feel better. It reminded me that, even if the Phantom Thieves didn’t need me anymore, I wouldn’t be alone. ‘Cause you’re here. You’ve always been.”

His words were so honest that, despite his insecurity, Yuuki couldn’t doubt them. He looked at the floor, feeling a slight warmth spread throughout his face and neck.

“I feel like an idiot,” he muttered.

Ryuji chuckled.

“Then we’re both idiots.”

He looked at Yuuki, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Listen…” he said. “You’re really important to me, okay?”

Yuuki nodded, placing his hand over Ryuji’s.

“Okay.”

The curtains opened again with a fanfare, making both of them jump. Instead of a burning stage, however, it revealed a giant screen.

“This again…” muttered Ryuji.

A new commercial started, and this time the one starring in it was… Akira. Wearing a loud suit with pink and purple stripes, and a pair of red, heart-shaped glasses—still too big for his face. A romantic saxophone tune played while he smiled at the camera.

_“Need some spice in your life?”_ he asked in a smooth voice. _“Maybe something new to break the routine? Then, why not visit a tropical paradise where all your dreams can come true? Here, three bachelors will compete for the love of a tropical beauty… But only one of them will be able to steal his heart.”_

The saxophone continued to play while random pictures of paradisiac beaches slid on the background, and Akira danced with his microphone in front of them, in a terrible green screen edition. After a few seconds, the camera focused on Akira again, this time sitting under a palm tree, drinking water from a coconut.

_“Searching for love?”_ He asked, briefly raising his red glasses. _“Then meet me at the Iland of Passion, going live soon on studio number four. And don’t worry…”_ Akira placed his index over his lips, winking at the camera as he whispered his next words. _“It will be our little secret.”_

The commercial came to an end, and the curtains closed again. Yuuki honestly didn’t know how to react.

“That was… something,” he said.

He glanced at Ryuji, who carried a strange expression. Before Yuuki could ask what was the problem, however, he started to giggle uncontrollably.

“Sorry…” he said, trying to control himself.

Yuuki twisted his lips.

“Yes, yes…” he said. “Laugh at my heart’s weird imagination, it’s fine.”

“I said I’m sorry!”

Ryuji finally managed to stop giggling, coughing a few times to clear his throat.

“Please, never tell Joker about this,” asked Yuuki.

“I won’t,” he promised. “But dude, seriously… You need to talk more to Joker. He talks shit without thinkin’ sometimes, but the guy is just a big, soft nerd inside. He once started cryin’ ‘cause I made lunch for him, and it tasted too good.”

“You’re making that up,” said Yuuki.

Ryuji shrugged.

“Ask him, then,” he said. “And while you’re at it, ask him about the time he ended our friendship for ten whole minutes ‘cause I said coffee tasted like shit.”

Yuuki furrowed his brow. It was difficult to imagine Akira Kurusu—the leader of the Phantom Thieves, the coolest guy around, the one who had the top grades of their class—acting like that.

“And, y’know…” proceeded Ryuji. “He really likes you, a lot.”

“Alright, now you’re making things up.”

“It’s true,” he assured Yuuki. “So, you should tell him that those things he said hurt you… I know he’ll understand, and try not to do it again.”

He knew Ryuji wasn’t lying, but it was still something hard to believe. He let out a long sigh.

“Alright…” he said. “After we get rid of this place, I’ll try to know Akira better.”

Ryuji smiled, pleased.

“The other ones too?”

“The other ones too,” he promised.

As soon as he said that, Ryuji pulled him closer, messing his hair, to which Yuuki protested half-heartedly.

“Okay,” said Ryuji, “to studio four, then.”

Yuuki agreed. Their search for studio number four started, and soon it became clear that it wouldn’t be as easy as finding studio number three. They walked that place for what seemed like hours, having to take a fifteen-minute break in the next safe room to keep going.

“Studio four really exists?” asked Ryuji, impatient. “I swear, we already searched this entire place!”

“We must have missed it,” said Yuuki. “Maybe the door isn’t as bright as the other ones?”

“With a commercial like _that?_ I doubt—” Ryuji went silent, making a sign for Yuuki to stop. “Moon, wait.”

Without their voices to distract his ears, he could hear a distant sound of countless steps. They approached quickly, and before they could even consider running away, a group of shadows appeared before them.

“Shadows!” yelled Yuuki.

Ryuji clicked his tongue, raising his bat.

“Stay away from the fight,” he said. “If more of them appear, run back to the safe room… I’ll meet you there!”

Before Yuuki could answer, Ryuji jumped into the battle, hitting that wave of shadows with his bat and electric bolts. Yuuki could only watch, half worried, half admired. His admiration, however, turned into cold fear when an enormous shadow approached Ryuji from behind.

“Skull!”

Without thinking, Yuuki ran to the big shadow, giving it a punch on the back with all his strength—which, unfortunately, wasn’t much. It didn’t seem to hurt it at all, but at least served to divert its attention from Ryuji to Yuuki. It raised its enormous fist, and Yuuki only had the time to raise his arms in front of his body before the shadow hit him, sending him rolling forward as if he weighed nothing. Yuuki felt his arm snap with a sharp pain, and a mute scream left his mouth. His vision went white for a minute, a high-pitched sound flooding his ears. He blinked a few times, and could see the blurry shape of the shadow approaching him. He blinked again, and the shadow raised its fists. Yuuki closed his eyes, bracing himself.

Instead of pain, he felt Ryuji’s arms holding him tightly. They rolled on the floor, in time to evade the shadow’s attack.

“Captain Kidd!” yelled Ryuji. “Mazionga!”

The already weakened shadows collapsed, leaving only the big one. Ryuji got up, standing between it and Yuuki.

“Megaton Raid!”

He faced that shadow head-on, without a single sign of fear. Despite all the pain he was feeling, Yuuki couldn’t look away from him, watching as he struck one blow after the other, sparks surrounding his body as electricity flew from him to the enemy. In a minute, that big shadow collapsed like the others, slowly fading into black dust. After taking a tired, deep breath, Ryuji turned to face Yuuki.

“Moon!”

He dashed to Yuuki, crouching by his side and carefully holding him in his arms. He reached for the small pouch on his belt, taking one of the items they found earlier from it.

“It’s alright…” he said. “You’ll be fine. Here, open your mouth.”

Yuuki obeyed. It looked like a common pill, but as soon as it touched his tongue a strong tingling sensation spread throughout his mouth, and then his entire body. There was a brief, sharp pain in his arm as the bone got back into place, but soon it faded as well, as if the injury had never existed at all. Ryuji gently passed his hand on the side of Yuuki’s mouth, cleaning with his glove a small trail of blood from a cut that Yuuki didn’t even realize had been there until seconds before.

“How is it?” asked Ryuji.

“Better…” he said. “Much better.”

Ryuji sighed, relieved. Then, he looked at Yuuki with an exasperated expression.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he said. “That thing could’ve killed you!”

Yuuki averted his gaze, now able to see how stupid it had been to punch a shadow with his bare fist.

“I thought it was going to hit you…” he said.

“I can take a hit or two…” answered Ryuji. “That’s like, the only thing I’m good at, other than breakin’ stuff.”

Those words made Yuuki’s stomach turn.

“But what if, someday, it’s too much?” he asked. “What if you don’t have healing items with you, and something bad happens?”

“Worry about yourself before you worry about me!” retorted Ryuji. “Without a persona, you could really get hurt!”

Ryuji stopped talking, taking a moment to calm down.

“I’d never forgive myself if anythin’ happened to you,” he said.

Yuuki lowered his eyes.

“It’s the same for me,” he said. “It’s my fault that you’re here, to begin with. I don’t care if you can take ‘a hit or two’… If you get hurt because of me, then…”

He couldn’t finish his phrase.

“It’s fine,” said Ryuji. “I’ve been through this before.”

“I don’t care…” answered Yuuki. “I still hate it.”

Ryuji observed him for a while, then averted his gaze with an unreadable expression.

“Just promise me you won’t do it again, okay?” he asked in a low voice.

“Skull…”

“Please.”

Yuuki still didn’t like it, but ended up agreeing.

“Fine,” he said. “But if you get hurt because of me, I won’t listen to you anymore.”

“Sounds fair.” Ryuji stood up, then offered Yuuki his hand. “Here.”

He accepted the help, getting up as well. As soon as his eyes were at the same level as one of the windows, a pinkish reflection on the glass called his attention. He quickly approached the window, then widened his eyes.

“Skull!” he called. “Take a look at this!”

Ryuji approached him, looking outside. There was a second building there, smaller, with tall concrete walls. On top of its entrance was a huge neon sign with the words “Passion Island” in bright pink, adorned by a neon palm tree, a cocktail, and a pair of hearts struck by an arrow.

“Studio four…” muttered Ryuji. “What a place to hide it.”

“But where is the door to the outside?” asked Yuuki.

“The only door I saw is the entrance I came from, but we’d still have to walk for a while to get to it.”

Yuuki thought for a moment.

“We’re on the ground floor, so maybe we could take a shortcut through here,” he suggested.

Ryuji agreed with a nod. He looked at the window, then, realizing it couldn’t be open by normal means, raised his bat.

“Stand back.”

Yuuki obeyed. Ryuji hit the window, shattering the glass. He briefly cleaned the remaining shards around the opening, and the ones scattered on the window’s frame before placing both hands on that border.

“I’ll go first,” he said. “Be careful not to cut yourself, alright?”

Saying that, he jumped to the other side with surprising ease.

“All done.”

Yuuki didn’t answer, and a hint of concern took Ryuji’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You ain’t comin’?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

Seeing that distorted version of Akira had been enough to distract Yuuki from it at the time, and the long search, followed by that battle kept his mind full for until that very moment. Only when he looked at that big, flashy sign, realization fully hit him: this time, it was a _romance_ show. A romance show created by _his_ repressed feelings.

Anxiety started to grow inside Yuuki at an alarming rate.

“You know…” he said. “Maybe we could just skip this one.”

“Need a break?”

“No…” Yuuki hesitated. “I just have a bad feeling.”

He immediately regretted not coming up with a lie. Ryuji looked at him as if he had said the most absurd thing possible.

“No fuckin’ way!” he said. “We came all the way here, and we ain’t givin’ up now!”

“But…”

Yuuki wanted to protest, but what he could even say? _‘Sorry, Ryuji… I don’t want you to know that I’ve been in love with you since last year’?_

His silence made Ryuji stare at him, slightly suspicious.

“Is there a reason why you don’t wanna go there?” he asked.

“No…” lied Yuuki. “No reason.”

He had no excuses to give, so he could only grit his teeth and hope for the best. Going against all his instincts, Yuuki approached the window, jumping to the other side. He and Ryuji walked to the entrance of the second building, then, together, they pushed the heavy doors, opening them.

It was like there was an entire different dimension inside that building. It looked like a real beach, covered in sand, and close to the sea. Despite that being a closed building, there was a bright sky above their heads, and the sun shone brightly. Some palm trees, colorful parasols, and beach towels only added to the realism of the scenario, which was only disturbed by those concrete walls, still present. There was a golden stage in the middle of it all, with a giant heart-shaped entrance at the back, covered by red curtains. Above it, a big screen showed an amplified version of the stage, just like in Kawakami’s show. A group of shadows was sitting on bleachers beside the stage and close to the wall, waiting for the show to begin. Keeping Yuuki and Ryuji away from all that was a velvet rope, and when they tried to cross it, it was like hitting an invisible wall.

“No messin’ with the show, it seems…” said Ryuji, poking that barrier with his bat.

“Yes…” agreed Yuuki, turning around to the beach towels close to them. “Time to take a seat, I suppose?”

They sat side by side, and as soon as they did, a romantic song started to play. The sunny sky gave place to a starry night, and colorful lights illuminated the entire stage. The curtains opened, and from behind them came Akira. He raised both arms, blowing kisses to all sides.

“Hello, hello, my lovelies!” he said with a charming smile. “Thanks for coming to another episode of Island of Passion! I’m your beautiful and charismatic host, Akira Kurusu. So… Who is ready to steal some hearts?”

The audience of shadows clapped and whistled, to which Akira flashed a smile, bowing in thanks.

“Seeing such a beautiful audience always illuminates my night. So, shall we begin?” With a flourish, Akira took a piece of paper from inside his sleeve, reading it. “Our first contestant is…” he stopped talking, frowning. “Wait, really? This guy again?” He rolled his eyes, then pointed at an empty place by his side. “Yuuki Mishima.”

Shadow Yuuki slowly appeared on the stage from below, probably thanks to a hidden mechanism. This time, he didn’t smile nor wave, keeping his eyes low. Akira didn’t pay him much attention.

“Our second contestant is…” he read the name with a smile. “Shadow number two!”

Yuuki was surprised to see that same shadow from the first show, with a huge mouth on its stomach, get on the stage beside his own shadow.

“And, finally, our third contestant!” proceeded Akira, now with a wide grin on his lips. “The audience’s favorite, the greatest thief of hearts, the one you see during your most private dreams: _me!”_

As if that hadn’t been confusing enough, a second Akira got on stage. It was ‘pimp Akira’ from the previous show, now with a bright green and yellow shirt to match the scenario. He winked at host Akira, who responded with finger guns.

“On today’s episode,” proceeded host Akira, “our contestants will be disputing the heart of our guest… But that’s not all! Today’s guest is very, _very_ special… Today, they will fight for the heart of the beautiful, the lovely, the sweetest, the hottest…” He made a dramatic pause, then indicated the curtains behind him. “Ryuji Sakamoto!”

“Me?” said Ryuji in shock.

Yuuki groaned to himself, his worst nightmares suddenly coming true. Fake Ryuji entered the stage, smiling and waving at the audience, that started to cheer and scream uncontrollably. The camera zoomed in on his face, and his image on the screen was surrounded by flowers, hearts, and sparkles, like the love interest in a shoujo manga.

“But… why me?” Ryuji asked, confused.

“I don’t know,” answered Yuuki, without looking at him.

Host Akira approached fake Ryuji, placing an arm around his shoulders.

“Thanks for coming today, Ryuji…” Akira checked him out from head to toe. “Wow, you look even more gorgeous today, if that’s possible!”

“Thanks, Akira…” said fake Ryuji. “You look amazing too.”

“If I wasn’t the host, I’d run away with you myself,” Akira sighed. “But, unfortunately, I’m a showman before I’m a lover, so I must make sacrifices for my job. Right, me?”

“Of course, me,” answered the other Akira.

“But you’re the same person!” protested shadow Yuuki. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

Both Akiras looked at him, annoyed.

“Why the hell is this loser here?” asked pimp Akira.

Host Akira shrugged with a displeased expression, and the other Akira clicked his tongue.

“Whatever…” he said. “It’s not like he has a chance, anyway.”

Shadow Yuuki tensed up, but didn’t respond.

“Now that all of our contestants are here,” continued host Akira, “let’s begin the competition! First, we must hear a little about each of the contestants, so our lovely guest can find the one he likes the most. First…” he rolled his eyes. “Nishima.”

“Mishima,” he corrected in a low voice, then took a deep breath. “I’m Yuuki Mishima, and I just recently turned seventeen… I like to code, write, play games—”

“Really?” scoffed pimp Akira. “Play games? Are you twelve?”

“Actually…” said fake Ryuji, seeming slightly embarrassed. “I like games, too.”

“Oh, but when a guy like you says it, it sounds endearing, not pathetic,” answered pimp Akira, without missing a beat. “I could spend the entire night playing games with you, baby.”

Fake Ryuji giggled, and Yuuki could feel Ryuji shudder beside him.

“Well, that’s enough about him,” said host Akira, turning to face shadow number two. “What can you say about yourself?”

The shadow groaned and gargled. Host Akira nodded.

“Very nice!” he said, now turning to face himself. “And, how about the most handsome of the competitors?”

Pimp Akira laughed, pleased.

“You said it all already, me…” He made a pose, with his back arched and a hand in front of his face. “I’m handsome and perfect.”

The audience of shadows clapped.

“With that, we know a little more about all of our contestants!” said host Akira, pulling another piece of paper from his sleeve. “Now, we’ve reached the most important part of the show: each contestant will tell us what they like so much about our stunning guest.” His smile died, and he gestured in Yuuki’s general direction. “You begin.”

Yuuki’s cheeks got slightly flushed. He glanced at fake Ryuji before lowering his eyes again, fidgeting with the end of his own t-shirt.

“I’m here because Ryuji is the most important person in my life,” he said. “Ever since I met him, my life became so, so much better! I never had many friends, and, in middle school, people even bullied me… But, since last year, Ryuji has always been by my side, and whenever someone messed with me, he was always ready to protect me.” He smiled to himself. “I… I really wish I could do the same for him. Really, I’d do anything to make him happy!”

Yuuki could feel Ryuji’s gaze on him, but didn’t look at him. He wanted to run away from there and hide where no one else would ever find him again, but his body seemed to be petrified in place. On the stage, fake Ryuji offered shadow Yuuki a sweet smile.

“Thanks, Yuuki…” he said. “You really are a great friend.”

There was a thundering noise, and the word ‘FRIENDZONED’ flashed in red on the screen. The audience roared in laughter.

“What the hell was that?” Pimp Akira shook his head, a scornful smirk in his face. “Talk about a corny confession.”

“Alright, next candidate,” proceeded host Akira. “Shadow number two!”

Shadow number two raised its four arms, making two hearts with his hands.

“That was so sweet, shadow number two,” said Ryuji. “Thank you.”

The shadow’s mask acquired a bright pink tone. Host Akira nodded with a smile before turning to himself again.

“Your turn, me…” he said. “What do you like about Ryuji?”

Pimp Akira chuckled.

“Isn’t that obvious?” he said. “He’s perfect, and I’m perfect… It really is that simple.”

There was an explosion of claps and whistles. Shadow number two offered him a thumbs up.

“Well said, me…” said host Akira. “As always, you have an amazing way with the words. I know it’s a pity to put an end to our fun here, but now we’re reaching the end of our thrilling romantic adventure!” He turned to Ryuji, gesturing in his direction. “Beautiful Ryuji… Which candidate do you choose?”

Suspenseful music started to play while fake Ryuji made his decision. The screen showed the faces of the three competitors, before finally focusing on him again. Then, he finally gave his answer.

“I choose… Akira.”

A fanfare played, accompanied by the cheers of the audience. Pimp Akira didn’t seem surprised.

“Of course you did,” he said, opening his arms. “Come here, gorgeous.”

Ryuji approached Akira, who immediately grabbed him into a deep kiss. Yuuki averted his gaze: even if it wasn’t real, it was still terrible to look at.

“That’s unfair!

That voice was what made him look at the stage again. Shadow Yuuki had left his place, and was now in the middle of the stage, facing pimp Akira.

“You know nothing about Ryuji!” he said. “I’ve been his friend since before you appeared! Why didn’t I even get a chance?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Pimp Akira briefly broke the kiss to respond. “Why would Ryuji even choose someone like _you_ when he has someone like _me_ around?”

“Because I was here first!” protested shadow Yuuki. “And I like him more than you’ll ever be able to!”

Yuuki’s blood seemed to freeze in his veins: yes, he had thought that exact same thing countless times, but hearing it out of his shadows mouth made him realize how _wrong_ it sounded.

“Oh, boo-hoo…” Pimp Akira rolled his eyes. “Someone bring a box of tissues for the crybaby.”

“I’m serious!” insisted shadow Yuuki. “Why can’t any of you take me seriously?”

Pimp Akira ignored him, jumping into Ryuji’s arms, being carried by him to behind the curtains. Shadow Yuuki tried to follow them, but host Akira placed his foot in front of him, making him fall on his face.

“Stop acting like a jealous little bitch…” he said, looking at him from above. “Did you really think that, by being his friend, he owed you anything else?” he shook his head. “Come on, grow up!”

“I… I didn’t…”

Shadow Yuuki sat up, cleaning a thin trail of blood from his nose with his sleeve, a small sob leaving his mouth.

“I know I never had a chance…” he muttered. “I told myself many times that I was fine with him liking someone else, as long as he was happy. As long as he is happy, it really doesn’t matter…”

He inhaled sharply.

“But it still hurts!”

Shadow Yuuki sobbed loudly, and Yuuki felt his throat close. Unable to take another second of that, he stood up, running away from that place.

“Moon? Wait…!”

He ignored Ryuji’s call, since the last thing he wanted was to look at his friend’s face. He had ruined everything… Now that Ryuji knew about his feelings, he wouldn’t want him close anymore.

He kept running, getting back inside the main building through the main entrance, barely paying attention to the way he was going until he finally saw himself inside the first safe room. He kneeled on the floor, with his head on the couch, buried in his arms. He wanted to disappear… He just wanted to stop existing right at that moment!

The sound of the door opening a while later startled him. He looked at it, and there was Ryuji, breathing hastily, pressing his bad leg with a hand. He approached Yuuki, half sitting, half falling by his side, taking off his mask to take a better look at his eyes, probably to make sure he was the real one.

“You’re safe…” He leaned in Yuuki’s direction, briefly holding him close to his chest. He then moved away, still holding Yuuki by the arms, his relieved expression changing into an angry one. “Why did you run away like that?” he yelled. “What if a shadow attacked—”

“You saw that!” retorted Yuuki, pushing his hands away. “You… you know what it all meant!”

Ryuji didn’t answer. Yuuki placed a hand over his eyes, trying to control his sobs.

“It’s all true…” he said. “I wish I didn’t feel like that, but I do.”

For a while, Ryuji simply looked at him. Then, he carefully reached for Yuuki’s face, cupping it.

“Listen to me,” he said.

Yuuki shook his head, trying to move Ryuji’s hands away again.

“Yuuki, listen to me!”

Hearing his name made Yuuki do as he said. Ryuji looked into his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I love you,” he said. “I just never thought you could feel the same way about me.”

His words made Yuuki’s heart fail a beat. He stared at his friend, wide-eyed.

“You’re lying, aren’t you…?” he asked in a weak voice.

“I’d never lie about somethin’ like this,” said Ryuji.

“I… I know…”

Still, it didn’t seem real. He spent over a year telling himself that his feelings were hopeless, and now…

Yuuki hesitated, then reached for Ryuji’s hands, pressing them against his face. He closed his eyes, only feeling their warmth for a moment.

“You mean it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Ryuji. “I do.”

He expected those words to make him want to laugh and jump like a happy fool. However, instead of joy, a heavy guilt weighed inside his chest.

“No…” he said. “This is wrong…”

He moved those hands away from his face, and the gesture made Ryuji look at him, confused.

“Why?” he asked.

Yuuki lowered his gaze. _How could he even explain that?_ He struggled with the words for a long while, and, when the silence made Ryuji seem anxious, he had to force himself to finally answer.

“Being here… It made me realize many things about myself,” he said. “Things that, if you knew, you’d never… Never even want to be my friend, much less something else.”

“What are you talkin’ about?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki hesitated, aware of how much his sincerity could cost him.

“I’m not a good person.”

He knew Ryuji would protest, so, before he could, Yuuki proceeded.

“That time, after you broke your leg…” he clenched his fists. “I hated to see you like that, but… Part of me was glad too, because I felt like you needed me…” he shut his eyes, not wanting to see Ryuji’s reaction to his words. “For the first time in my entire life, someone needed me, and not the other way around.”

Ryuji stayed silent. Yuuki could only imagine what was passing through his mind after hearing that, but knew he couldn’t stop now.

“Even the things I do now, like the Phan-site, or investigating for the Phantom Thieves… Everything I do is because I want to be useful. You stopped depending on me after Akira appeared, so, Instead, I tried to make the Phantom Thieves depend on me. Because it made me feel like… Like I had a purpose!”

He made a pause, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t mind you making new friends…” he admitted. “I didn’t even mind you hanging out with Joker. But I was afraid that he would steal my place by your side… He was so much better than me, that it made perfect sense for you to like him more. And it wasn’t just Joker… I looked at you all, and felt like I was nothing in comparison. As much as I wanted to be part of your group, I just didn’t belong there, and it made me feel so… I don’t know… desperate? Because I felt like you had finally found your place, and, because of it, I was losing mine.”

Yuuki shook his head, proceeding in a lower voice.

“I worried so much about it that, after a while, it made me angry to even see you with Joker, or hear you talking about Joker. I… I wanted it to be me. I felt like it had to be me. That I deserved it so much more than him… I didn’t even stop to think about how happy you’ve been since he arrived. I should be thankful, but instead, I blamed him for everything.”

An exhausted, humorless laugh escaped his lips.

“I’m… the worst…”

They both stayed silent for a long time. Part of Yuuki wanted Ryuji to just stand up and walk away, so he could finally stop having any hopes.

“I see.” Ryuji’s quiet words made him raise his head, looking at him. “You really had a lotta stuff pilin’ up inside your chest, didn’t you?”

His tone wasn’t accusatory, but… understanding.

“Aren’t you angry at me?” asked Yuuki.

Ryuji shook his head.

“No…,” he said. “I understand it.”

Somehow, Yuuki found it hard to believe.

“You’re just being kind…” he said. “Since we got into this place, all you did was be kind and understanding to me, even when I didn’t deserve it. But the truth is, I’m not a good person. I’m selfish, envious, and angry… That’s why I have a palace.”

It was painful to admit it, but he knew that was the truth. Ryuji observed him in silence for a moment.

“You know what I like the most about bein’ a Phantom Thief?”

That sudden question caught Yuuki off-guard.

“I… no,” he said. “What is it?”

He looked at Ryuji, who offered him a slightly embarrassed smile.

“This way, I can prove my old man was wrong,” he said. “That even someone like me can make a difference.” He shrugged with a brief sigh. “Yeah, I still like to help people n’ all that, but the greatest reason of all is that, by doin’ it, I can tell myself that I’m better than him. That I won’t become a guy who can only hurt others, like he did.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Sounds much less noble now, right?”

Yuuki didn’t answer. Ryuji moved closer to him, carefully brushing Yuuki’s hair away from his face.

“There’s stuff about ourselves that we just wish we could hide forever…” he said. “Things we wish we didn’t feel, but we still do.”

His hand went down to Yuuki’s cheek, gently caressing it.

“I really don’t care if you had some selfish reason, or whatever…” he proceeded. “You were still there when I needed you, and stayed there no matter how bad things became. You were always by my side, and it’s thanks to you that I didn’t drop outta school, or somethin’ even worse. You were the one who made sure I didn’t give up on myself back then…” he showed a soft smile. “You’re my best friend, and that’s what matters to me.”

Yuuki briefly shut his eyes. He raised his hand, hesitating a little before touching Ryuji’s chest with it.

“All I wanted was to make you smile again,” he said. “Because I wanted to be special to you, and because I liked to feel needed… But, especially, because I hate seeing you sad.”

He looked at Ryuji, meeting his gaze.

“Even after everything you saw here… Do you still love me?” he asked.

“More than ever,” assured Ryuji.

His chest was filled with a soft warmth.

“Is it okay if I stay close to you?” he asked.

Ryuji nodded, opening his arms. Yuuki did nothing but look at him for a while, then slowly leaned in Ryuji’s direction, allowing himself to rest against his chest. Ryuji hugged him, resting his face on Yuuki’s head.

“I caused you a lot of trouble, didn’t I?” asked Yuuki after a while. “Creating this entire place over such silly things.”

“They ain’t silly,” said Ryuji. “Stop downplayin’ your pain just ‘cause you’re the one feelin’ it.”

He placed his hand on Yuuki’s head, holding it close to his chest, his fingers softly caressing his hair.

“You’ve got the right to feel angry, and sad, and frustrated, and to be selfish…” he continued. “There’s nothin’ wrong with feelin’ this way… ‘Course you’ll get angry if people are unfair to you, or sad if you feel alone… And ‘course you’ll be a little selfish about the things that are important to you. We all are.”

Saying that, Ryuji placed a kiss on Yuuki’s head.

“So, stop tryin’ to keep your feelings hidden, okay?” he asked.

“It’s not easy,” said Yuuki. “I’m afraid of letting people get too close… I feel like, the more they know about me, the more they’ll dislike me.”

Saying that out loud made him finally realize something. He moved away from Ryuji, just enough to look at his face.

“But now you know the worst things about me, and you didn’t go away,” he said.

“That’s right,” answered Ryuji. “And I won’t.”

Yuuki couldn’t hold back a smile, that Ryuji soon returned. He placed his hand on Yuuki’s chin, carefully tilting his face upward before slowly leaning in his direction. Yuuki closed his eyes, and soon Ryuji’s lips were on his. It was brief, but enough for him to feel like his heart was melting. Ryuji moved away, placing a second kiss on his forehead.

“Remember what you said to me before?” he asked. “That, five years from now, things could be different?”

“You still remember that?” Yuuki giggled. “You know that I said that without thinking, right? I was panicking, and just wanted to make sure you’d be fine.”

“I know,” admitted Ryuji. “But that kinda stuck to me. And now, the more time passes, the more I feel like, yeah… Despite everythin’, I kinda like bein’ alive, y’know? Like, ‘I’m happy with who I am right now, and wouldn’t wanna be anyone else’. Makes sense?”

“I think so.”

Ryuji hugged his waist, placing a brief kiss on his cheek before proceeding.

“So, I want you to feel the same way about yourself,” he said. “All we saw in this place was you feelin’ like you ain’t good enough… But you are. I wish there was an easy way to make you understand this, but… Even if people are unfair to you, or say that you should be different, you’re still good enough as you are.” Ryuji opened a wide grin. “‘Cause you’re Yuuki fuckin’ Mishima… You’re a programmer, a writer, a detective, a volleyball player, a hardworkin’ nerd, the Phantom Thief’s informant and greatest supporter, and the best friend that ever existed.” Ryuji made a pause, looking at Yuuki. “You need more proof? ‘Cause there’s much more where this came from.”

Yuuki laughed, shaking his head, slightly embarrassed by those sudden compliments.

“I don’t know how things will be five, ten, or thirty years in the future…” Proceeded Ryuji in a lower voice. “The only thing I know for sure is that I want you to be there with me. If you ain’t, then… It just won’t be the same.”

Yuuki met his gaze, his heart jumping in his chest.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Ryuji smiled. “So… please, don’t hide things from me anymore. Especially if I’m the one who’s hurtin’ you.”

He agreed, receiving another kiss on his face.

“Now, before we keep goin’, I need a break…” said Ryuji. “My leg is killin’ me.”

“Is it too bad?” asked Yuuki, concerned. “Do you still have healing items?”

“Don’t worry,” said Ryuji. “It just happens sometimes… It’ll be better after I give it some rest.”

Yuuki nodded, then helped Ryuji move to the couch. Carefully, he lied between Ryuji’s legs, with his head on his chest, then closed his eyes, relaxing under Ryuji’s light caress.

* * *

Yuuki only realized he had fallen asleep when he was already waking up. He raised his head, looking at Ryuji.

“Did I fall asleep?” he asked.

“I think we both did…” answered Ryuji with a yawn.

Yuuki watched him, a fond smile taking his lips. When Ryuji finished his yawn, he leaned forward, stealing a brief kiss. Ryuji stared at him, surprised.

“Sorry,” said Yuuki. “I just…”

“It’s okay!” answered Ryuji. “Just wasn’t expectin’ it…” His face acquired a slightly flushed tone, and he looked away, lowering his voice. “Guess it’ll take me a while to get used to havin’ a boyfriend.”

Being called his _boyfriend_ made a spark run through Yuuki’s entire body.

“You’ll get used to kisses quicker if we do it a lot,” he said.

His words made Ryuji laugh, looking again at him.

“That’s an obvious excuse!” He considered it for a second. “Not that I mind it.”

They looked at each other for a moment, then Yuuki leaned in for another kiss.

“How is your leg?” he asked.

“Better already,” answered Ryuji. “Ready to keep goin’?”

“Far from that… But let’s go.”

Yuuki hesitated for an instant, then raised his arm, and Ryuji bumped it with his own.

* * *

They left the safe room without a clear goal in mind. This time, they had no commercial to give them a hint of what to look for—and what to expect.

“Probably studio five?” suggested Ryuji. “It’s how things have been until now.”

“Probably,” agreed Yuuki. “But where could studio five be? We searched this entire place already, and didn’t see anything like that.”

“Maybe it appeared while we watched the last show?” Ryuji thought for a moment. “I mean, it ain’t like this place follows real-world rules.”

“That makes sense…”

As soon as he said that, something crossed Yuuki’s mind.

“Wait!” he said. “I think I know where we should begin our search!”

“Really? Where?”

“Studio number three,” he said. “Remember what they said? Their show was canceled… When a show is canceled, another one takes its place, right?”

“Yeah…” Ryuji’s face brightened. “It does!”

They smiled in a shared excitement, quickly making their way to studio number three. That solid black door was still the same, however, now there was a simple notebook page there, duct-taped to it, with the name ‘Yuuki Mishima’s Comedy Show’ poorly written in blue ink.

“That sounds fitting,” muttered Yuuki.

Ryuji placed a hand on the back of Yuuki’s neck, in a brief, comforting caress.

“You ready for this?” he asked.

Yuuki nodded. They opened the door, getting inside. It still looked like that same theatre, with the exception that, now, the closed curtains were blue. They didn’t have to take a seat this time before the curtains opened, revealing shadow Yuuki in a crude cardboard representation of his bedroom. He was standing in the middle of it, holding a piece of paper with a disappointed expression.

_“I spent the entire night studying, and still only got a passable grade…”_ his voice echoed slightly distorted, as if they were listening to his thoughts. _“What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really not trying hard enough…? Or am I just dumb?”_

A loud sound of canned laughter echoed in that empty place. The curtains closed for a second before opening again. This time, he was in front of the mirror, cleaning an injury on his face.

_“Volleyball isn’t fun anymore… I used to like it so much, but now even thinking about it makes me want to puke. Why does Kamoshida have to ruin everything I like?”_

More laughter. When the curtain opened again, shadow Yuuki was on his bed, hugging his pillow as he sobbed.

_“I didn’t know what he was going to do… I was so relieved he was going to finally hurt someone else that I didn’t think… Shiho… Shiho, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”_

Laughter. Shadow Yuuki was sitting with his back against the wall, hugging his knees.

_“They only talk to me when they want to complain. It’s like nothing I do is good enough. They’re ashamed of me… And I can’t even blame them for that.”_

Laughter. He threw his recently assembled garage kit against the wall, watching the pieces scatter over the floor.

_“I can’t do anything right! The only things that get inside my head are the ones no one cares about! I’ll never go anywhere like this… I didn’t even graduate from high school yet, but I’ve already ruined my life!”_

Laughter. He was looking at his phone, hesitant.

_“How long has it been since Ryuji and I last went out together…? Does he even miss it like I do? Maybe… maybe he didn’t even notice it. Maybe he isn’t having fun around me anymore… Maybe he’s happier with his new friends than he was with me.”_

Laughter. He punched his own thigh in frustration.

_“I’m so tired of this…! Why won’t anyone look at me? I’m trying my best… I’m doing everything I can, but nothing seems to make a difference! No one cares about me… No one would even miss me if I disappeared from this world!”_

Laughter. He was sitting on the floor, staring at the wall.

_“Akira is perfect, isn’t he…? That’s why he has everything I want without making any effort. If I was like him… Then I’d have it all too, wouldn’t I?”_

Laughter, this time followed by enthusiastic clapping. The curtains were about to close, but they stopped halfway, opening again.

“Yes…” said shadow Yuuki, this time with his own voice. “That’s right. If I was Akira, I would have everything I want. If only I was Akira… If only…”

He stood up, a wide smile taking his face.

“I get it now!” he said. “It was so obvious! I just have to get rid of ‘Yuuki Mishima’ and become ‘Akira Kurusu’, instead! If I do that, all my problems will be gone!”

He turned his head to where the true Yuuki was, his golden eyes glistening with excitement.

“How didn’t I think about it before?” he continued. “If I get rid of you… all of my problems will go away! No one’s going to hurt me anymore, my parents will be proud of me, the Phantom Thieves will allow me into their group, and Ryuji will love me forever! I can finally have everything I want!”

Shadow Yuuki laughed, and that sound merged with the one of the canned laughs and claps, getting more and more distorted as his appearance changed. A layer of wax-like skin covered his entire body, until he looked like a doll with Akira’s face; a navy-blue overcoat materialized around him, followed by a matching top hat and a monocle.

He wore Akira’s face and a phantom thief’s clothes, but still looked nothing like the real Akira.

“Perfect…” muttered shadow Yuuki, looking down at himself. “As I thought, now I _am_ perfect!”

Ryuji pulled Yuuki behind himself, then raised his bat.

“Take cover behind the seats, I’ll stop him,” he said, running in the shadow’s direction. Yuuki did as he said, watching Ryuji from behind that makeshift shield.

Shadow Yuuki’s laughter was interrupted when Ryuji hit him with his magic. He faced Ryuji, and despite his blank wax expression, his voice sounded deeply hurt and confused.

“Ryuji?” he said. “Why are you attacking me? I thought you really liked Akira? Or am I still not ‘Akira’ enough for you?”

“I don’t want you to be Akira!” answered Ryuji. “I want you to keep bein’ yourself, ‘cause you’re important to me!”

Shadow Yuuki thought for a moment.

“I see… So I need to try harder, right?” He sighed, tired. “Being Akira isn’t as easy as it seems, is it?”

“You’ll never be Akira!” yelled Ryuji. “You’re Yuuki Mishima, and you’re fine the way you are!”

“Stop!” yelled the shadow, covering his ears. “I don’t want to be him… I’m tired of being someone no one cares about!”

“That ain’t true! I care about you, your friends care about you… You’re important to all of us!”

“Stop lying!” The Shadow shook his head, taking a step back. “I’m not Yuuki Mishima… I am Akira Kurusu… I am Akira Kurusu!”

It let out an anguished scream that made Yuuki’s eardrums ache. Ryuji faltered for a moment, but managed to get back on his feet, running to the shadow, hitting his head with his bat. His wax mask cracked, partially falling on the floor, revealing half of shadow Yuuki’s face beneath it. It stared at Ryuji, his despaired expression contrasting with Akira’s blank one.

“Why are _you_ hurting me too?” he questioned. “All I ever wanted was to be a good friend for you!”

“You are!” said Ryuji. “But I ain’t gonna watch as you keep hatin’ and blamin’ yourself for everythin’ bad that happened!”

“You don’t care about me either!” The shadow accused him. “That’s why you replaced me!”

“I could never replace you! I have other friends now, but you’re still my best friend!”

“Liar!” yelled the shadow. “You’re nothing but a liar!”

He punched the air, but Ryuji easily avoided the attack.

“You’re always lying to me!” proceeded shadow Yuuki. “I hate you!”

He punched the air again, but this time Ryuji didn’t even need to move to avoid it.

“I hate you!” continued the shadow, grabbing his desk made of board, throwing it at the floor next to Ryuji’s feet. “I hate you!”

He kept repeating those words and attacking the area around Ryuji, without hitting him even once. Ryuji simply observed him for a long while, then a small, fond smile took his lips.

“You don’t really wanna fight, do you?” he asked.

“Shut up…” said the shadow.

“Should’ve expected… You’re too kind for that.”

Saying that, Ryuji let go of his bat, taking a step in the shadow’s direction. Shadow Yuuki retreated, frightened.

“Stay away!” he yelled.

Ryuji didn’t stop. The shadow sat on the ground, curling into a ball. Ryuji crouched beside him, then reached for his hat, taking it off.

“Hey…” he said. “It’s alright.”

Shadow Yuuki shut his eyes. Ryuji carefully removed the remaining half of Akira’s mask from his face.

“Why…?” asked the shadow. “I would do anything for you, and still… You’re taking away my only chance at being happy…”

Ryuji shooked his head.

“What’s the point if you’re pretendin’ to be someone else?” he said. “You won’t be truly happy like that.”

“What else am I supposed to do, then…?”

Ryuji looked over his shoulder at the true Yuuki, who had left his cover and now approached them. He got on the stage, facing his shadow, who glared at him.

“It’s all your fault…” said the shadow. “If you were anyone else, my life would be better than this!”

Yuuki took a deep breath.

“You know how silly you sound right now, don’t you?” he said. “If I was stronger… If my grades were better… If I was like Akira… All these things are meaningless. You are who you are.” He crouched in front of the shadow, looking into his golden eyes. “You are me, Yuuki Mishima. No matter how much you hate it sometimes, this is who you are.”

The shadow flinched at those words.

“I don’t want to…”

“It doesn’t matter!” retorted Yuuki. “You are me! And guess what? There are people who like you the way you are, even if you don’t!” he stopped, correcting himself. “Even if _I_ don’t, sometimes… This is still who I am, and I don’t want to be ashamed of it anymore. I want everyone to see what I’m truly made of. I may never become a hero, but I sure as hell won’t spend my life crying and blaming everyone else for everything bad that happens to me.”

He reached for the shadow’s hand, gently holding it.

“You are me,” he said. “There is no one else you can be… And there’s no one else I want to be.”

The shadow looked at him, hesitant.

“I am… you…” he said.

Yuuki nodded, offering him a smile.

“Yes.”

“Yuuki Mishima…” said the shadow.

“That’s right.”

“I see…”

The shadow thought for a moment, then offered Yuuki a cautious glance.

“You won’t hurt me anymore, will you?” he asked.

Yuuki shook his head.

“I’ll be kinder to you from now on,” he said. “I promise.”

The shadow smiled, relieved.

“Boo… What a piece of garbage!”

That voice startled the three of them. They turned their attention to the back of that stage, and from there came cognitive Akira, accompanied by Kawakami, Kamoshida, the father, and the mother.

“What a shame…” Kawakami shook her head. “And this show seemed so promising, too.”

“Did they really cancel our show for something like this?” asked the father, smoke leaving his nostrils and ears.

“Inconceivable!” yelled the mother, punching her own head with both fists. “Unforgivable!”

“Who the hell would be happy to be a wimp like this?” asked Kamoshida, crinkling his nose. “It makes no sense!”

Yuuki, his shadow, and Ryuji stood up, facing them.

“Shaddup!” said Ryuji. “You can’t affect him anymore!”

“That’s true!” answered Yuuki. “I’m done with all of you!”

The cognitive hosts looked at each other, then started to laugh. They wheezed and cackled, until tears left their eyes.

“We can’t affect you anymore?” said Akira. “You can’t be serious!”

He bent his body forward, hugging his stomach from laughing so hard.

“I take it back…” he said. “This is the best comedy show ever!”

The shadows kept laughing, and as they did, they started to lose their forms and colors, merging together into a pile of black goo, that spiraled upwards, spreading to all sides. Ryuji grabbed Yuuki and his shadow by their arms, pulling them away from it, then took his bat, ready to fight. Before them, a giant robot was formed: its legs were orange and green, the arms red and blue, and the torso, pink and purple, resembling the clothes used by those distortions. The head was a giant tube television covered by static. When it finally showed a clear image, it was Akira’s face, which soon flickered, giving place to Kamoshida’s.

“We can’t affect you anymore?” he repeated, then his face and voice changed to Kawakami’s. “We’ll see about that.”

There was a loud, distorted laugh, and the robot raised its arms, hitting the stage with them. The entire floor cracked, starting to give in under their weight.

“Run!” yelled Ryuji.

The two Yuukis obeyed, following Ryuji outside the theatre. What they found outside, however, wasn’t the same corridor, but what seemed to be a corrupted version of Kawakami’s show. They kept running, never seeming to reach an end. Before them, a giant screen appeared, showing them Kawakami’s inhuman smile.

_“You know what time it is, don’t you?”_ she asked in a deep, distorted voice. _“It’s time for the… ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT!”_

The room started to get filled with water. All the walls, floor, and ceiling turned into giant screens, showing flashes of what Yuuki recognized as his own memories. The bullies mocking him in middle school, the teachers saying he wasn’t working hard enough, him being picked last for group projects, a teacher humiliating him in front of the entire class for a small mistake, him spending lunch breaks hiding from everyone else, his overwhelming fear to show his grades to his parents...

The water covered their heads, and when Yuuki thought he was about to drown, the entire place turned around, and they fell on a hard surface. Yuuki coughed, blinking a few times until his vision regained focus. They were in a sports court, and that realization made a shiver go down Yuuki’s spine. He reached for the hands of both Ryuji and his shadow, this time being the one pulling them alongside him. The screen reappeared above them, now showing Kamoshida’s head.

_“Yes, keep running…”_ he said in a menacing tone. _“If you stop for just one second, I’ll make you run A THOUSAND MORE LAPS!”_

A loud noise made the ground shake. Yuuki looked over his shoulder, only to see an entire mob of shadows, all wearing Kamoshida’s mask, chasing them. The screens covered the entire room again. Him on the floor while Kamoshida looked at him from above with a grin on his lips, his nose bleeding after being hit on the face once again by a volleyball, Kamoshida making fun of his appearance in front of everyone, his own teammates aiming for him with the ball to please Kamoshida and avoid further punishments, his calves and lungs burning after running for such a long time, Shiho about to jump from the roof…

The ground shattered under their feet, and the trio fell down in an increasingly darker abyss, until they finally hit what seemed to be a huge trampoline, that made them bounce nonstop.

The father and the mother appeared on the screen above them, moving their heads up and down, their cheeks squished against each other, eyes and smiles too big to seem natural.

_“There’s no place for a DISAPPOINTMENT in the Mishima’s family…”_ said the mother.

_“A stain on our family’s name must be PURGED, no matter the cost!”_ agreed the father.

Random and giant cartoony objects—like bowling pins, flower pots, books, and silverware—fell from the ceiling, bouncing alongside the trio, threatening to crush them at any second. They held each other’s hands, trying to move on that unstable surface without much success. The screens showed Yuuki washing his uniform in the middle of the night, terrified that his mother would see the stains of dirt from when he was pushed by a bully at school; and then, him quickly trowing a comic book under his bed as his father entered his bedroom, his mother slapping his face for talking back to her, his father breaking one of his figures as a punishment for his unsatisfactory grades, his parents saying his writing and coding had no real value… His mother saying he was a disappointment. his father saying he was ruining their family.

Suddenly, they sank too low into the trampoline, as if getting swallowed by it. Then, they were sent flying to the ceiling. Instead of hitting the screen, they emerged at the shore of a beach. Yuuki could barely move anymore, but when Ryuji pulled him up, he kept his legs moving. The sand, however, made everything much harder. The screen showed Akira, with that scornful smirk on his lips.

“You are… NOTHING!” he said amid a dramatic pose. “I… am… PERFECT!”

The blue sky became gray, and suddenly a tornado approached them from the sea, bringing a tempest with it. Before they could get too far, they were engulfed by it, spinning so quickly that Yuuki thought his limbs were about to leave his body. Countless screens started to spin alongside them, showing more of those flickering memories. Ryuji on a hospital bed, telling him to leave, Ryuji crying and saying he didn’t want to live anymore, Ryuji showing him the big scar on his leg, Ryuji smiling beside Akira, Ryuji surrounded by his new friends... Ryuji looking at him with cold eyes… Ryuji saying he didn’t want to be Yuuki’s friend anymore…

“That’s not true!” yelled Yuuki, enraged. “That never happened!”

As if affected by his voice, the tornado stopped. They fell on the floor, now back at the theatre’s stage. Before then, the robot laughed using Akira’s face.

“And why would that matter?” its face changed to Kamoshida’s. “Everything else was true, wasn’t it?” The father and the mother. “What difference could a fake memory, or two, make?”

“I’m not falling for this,” retorted Yuuki. “I won’t let this place keep playing with me!”

“Stop fighting it!” said Kawakami, rolling her eyes. “Can’t you see?” Akira raised his eyebrow with a grin. “We’re much stronger than you will ever be.”

“That’s not true!”

“Really?” asked Kamoshida. “Then, why is _he_ still here?”

The robot indicated shadow Yuuki with its arm. Yuuki opened his mouth, but couldn’t find an answer. He had changed his heart himself, hadn’t he? So why hadn’t his shadow disappeared yet? His lost expression made the robot laugh, now using the father and the mother’s voices in unison.

“You haven’t changed at all…” they said. “You can lie to Ryuji, you can even lie to yourself… but you can’t lie to us. You know why?”

Before he could answer, the robot placed both hands in front of his television head, then opened then again, as if playing peekaboo. On that screen now was a pixelated portrait of Yuuki with his head hanging low. It laughed quietly to itself, his shoulders shaking as the laugh became louder. It raised its head, revealing a pair of bulging eyes and a wide, sadistic smile.

“Because you’re the one who created us!” it yelled in what seemed to be a compressed quality version of Yuuki’s own voice. “You created us because you need to feel pain! You need to suffer because you know you deserve it!”

Caught by surprise by those words, Yuuki took a step back.

“You don’t care about anything but yourself, so how could you expect people to ever like you?” proceeded pixelated Yuuki in a loud, high-pitched voice. “You came up with that sad, inner self-narrative, that made you the poor victim and everyone else a monster… But did you ever do anything expecting nothing in return?” Another long laugh. “You didn’t! Ryuji? You wanted him to need you, and be unable to live without you, to the point he would come crawling back to you if he ever dared to run away! The Phantom Thieves? You just wanted to feel like a hero yourself! You knew their identity, you made them famous, they would be nothing without you, and they still dared to treat you like a nuisance? You could reveal all of their identities with a single post, if you so wished! And then there’s Shiho… Poor, poor Shiho, thrown to the wolves because you were too scared of going against Kamoshida!”

He knew exactly what to say to hurt him the most. Yuuki clenched his fists, but was unable to fight back.

“You hurt so many people, Yuuki…” proceeded the robot. “No wonder you were so desperate for someone to hurt you in that same way. Besides…” he laughed briefly. “It hurt much less to tell yourself that you deserved to be punished, instead of accepting that no one in this world cared about your feelings!” he rolled his eyes. “So, what did you do? You created a personal torture chamber, all for yourself, where you could safely hide from everything you ever felt and did!”

Yuuki felt as if his heart was getting crushed. Was that true? Had his entire palace been created by a feeling like that? An urge to _self-destruct?_

“Shut the hell up…!”

Yuuki looked to the side, seeing Ryuji make an effort to stand up. He took a step in the robot’s direction, placing an arm in front of Yuuki.

“You ain’t gonna hurt him anymore…” he said though his gritted teeth. “If you even try, I swear I’ll break you into pieces…”

The robot looked down at him with an amused expression.

“Is that so?” it said.

Without giving it a chance to say anything else, Ryuji cut the distance between them, hitting the robot with his bat. Using that brief opening, he called Captain Kidd, attacking the robot with electricity. To their surprise, the robot didn’t seem affected by it. It looked at Ryuji, a creepily sweet smile on pixelated Yuuki’s lips.

“Ah, Ryuji…” he said. “Ryuji, Ryuji, Ryuji… If only I didn’t know you _so_ well…”

Before Ryuji could react, the robot’s hand fell upon him, grabbing him by the torso, throwing him to the opposite side of the room.

“Skull!”

Yuuki dashed to where Ryuji was, being followed by his shadow. His limbs were in an unnatural position, blood flowing from a wound on his head. For a moment, the memory of Shiho on the ground after jumping took his mind. He reached for Ryuji’s pouch, searching it for healing items. He found two like the one Ryuji had given him earlier, and, without thinking twice, opened Ryuji’s mouth, placing both of them there.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, feeling his throat close as he tried not to cry. “Please, you must be fine.”

After a moment, Ryuji opened his eyes, seeming to make an effort to even look at Yuuki.

“Get outta here…” he muttered. “Take your shadow and get outta here, now!”

“I’m not leaving you!” retorted Yuuki. “I…”

But, what else could he do? He wasn’t going to leave Ryuji behind, but he couldn’t face that creature on his own. Were the two of them going to die like that? Because he was too weak to go against his own bad feelings?

He felt a hand on his back, then turned his face to look at his shadow, who observed him with serious eyes.

“You know what you have to do, don’t you?” he asked.

Yuuki simply looked at him for a moment, then closed his eyes, slowly nodding. _Yes…_ He was the one who created that place for his own selfish reasons… He couldn’t let anyone else get hurt because of it—much less the person he loved. He stood up, while Ryuji followed him with his gaze.

“Moon…?” he called. “Moon, stop!”

But Yuuki didn’t, running at that robot’s direction without another moment of hesitation. Time seemed to slow down to almost a halt. He felt something covering the right side of his face, and instinctively brought his hands to it, trying to pull it away, only to realize it seemed to be stuck to his skin.

_“Is this really how you want things to end?”_ asked a grave voice inside his head. _“Crushed by your own fears? Watching those you hold dear suffer in front of you? Accepting how people see and judge you without fighting back?”_

No… He didn’t want that.

_“Or are you willing to stand against the odds and prove your worth? To yourself… To your allies… To your enemies… To the world.”_

The robot arm slowly got down in his direction, but, somehow, Yuuki wasn’t scared.

“Yes…” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I am.”

_“Then, embrace my power. Show your strength to the ones who wronged you, and engrave your name in the history of this land.”_

“Yuuki!” yelled Ryuji behind him.

If anything, hearing his voice gave him the last bit of determination he needed.

“Please, fight alongside me…” he whispered.

Yuuki took a deep breath, opening his eyes.

“Dokuganryuu!”

He pulled that mask with all of his strength, and a sharp scream left his mouth as the hot blood covered his face. The pain didn’t last long, though, since soon an incredible wave of power spread throughout his entire body. The robot was pushed away, staggering, but managing to regain its balance in time. Yuuki looked down at himself, seeing that his clothes had changed: a black tactical uniform, covered by a loose dark-blue kimono tied around his waist by a pale-golden sash, its sleeve covering only one of his arms. He looked over his shoulder, seeing a faceless humanoid figure in full, black samurai armor floating midair while a golden Japanese dragon circled his body in slow, gracious movements. It took him a moment to realize that the dragon had one eye missing, and a crescent moon on his head. He smiled: so, that was his true power.

He faced the robot, and his pixelated version didn’t seem as cocky as instants before.

“What…?” it said. “This can’t…”

“I need to feel punished, is that what you said?” muttered Yuuki staring at his own pixelated face. “That’s funny, because right now all I want is to crush that stupid head of yours for what you did to my boyfriend.”

He inhaled, and a spear took form in his hands. He raised it with surprising ease, as if his hands were being guided by an invisible force, then hit the robot’s right arm. The robot stumbled back, staring infuriated at him.

“You can’t defeat me with just that!” yelled the robot. “You know I’m much stronger than you!”

“Maybe I couldn’t do it on my own…” answered Yuuki. “But now I see how stupid I’ve been for such a long time. I don’t need this place anymore!”

He charged against the robot, scratching its chest before it jumped back. In an instant, Ryuji was beside him, seeming a little better from his injuries.

“Are you alright?” asked Yuuki.

“Yeah,” Ryuji offered him a smile. “Nice outfit!”

Yuuki returned the smile, then the two of them focused their attention again on the robot. It forced a laugh.

“Celebrate while you can…” it said. “You can’t defeat me… Not if none of your attacks land!”

A bright light surrounded the robot. Ryuji and Yuuki tried to attack it, but it seemed to have no effect. Ryuji tried electricity once again, without success.

“Shit…” he said. “This will take a while.”

Yuuki didn’t answer, paying attention to that robot. There was something, almost like a feeling, that he was trying to understand.

“Skull…” he said. “I think I can sense something.

“What?”

“Its weakness, I think,” he said. “It keeps… changing.”

“And can you tell what they change to?” asked Ryuji.

Yuuki focused a little more.

“I do!” he said. “Now it’s fire!”

Which also meant there was nothing they could do. The robot jumped out of the stage, grabbing one of the seats, using it as a weapon. The two managed to avoid its attacks for a short while.

“It changed to ice!” informed Yuuki. “Be careful!”

The robot threw that chair in their direction, before grabbing another one. Ryuji pulled Yuuki away from that projectile, but part of it hit Ryuji’s shoulder. It seemed dislocated, and he hissed with the pain.

“Just a little longer…” asked Yuuki, placing a hand over his injury. “Diarama!”

_Wait…_ he could heal? It came naturally to him, as if his body became conscious of it before his mind did. Ryuji gave him a brief tap on the shoulder.

“Thanks!” he said.

Yuuki nodded in response. The robot dashed in their direction, spinning around with the chair, forcing Ryuji and Yuuki to run to opposite sides to avoid it.

“Wind!” informed Yuuki.

The robot chose to follow him, raising his chair above his head. It didn’t have a chance to attack, though, since Ryuji grabbed the discarded chair, and threw it at its back. It didn’t harm him, but made it lose its balance, giving Yuuki enough time to get away from it. He glanced at Ryuji, sure that he had fallen even more for him after that. Then, when the robot regained its balance and faced them again, Yuuki finally felt what he had been waiting for from the beginning.

“Now!” he yelled. “Its weakness is electricity!”

A wide, satisfied smile spread through Ryuji’s lips.

“Captain Kidd!” he yelled. “Ziodyne!”

The magic hit the robot with a strong light and a loud noise. It fell on its knees and hands. The protective barrier around it shattered, leaving it, once again, vulnerable to physical attacks.

“Now!” said Ryuji.

They approached the fallen robot, hitting it with all they had. Parts of it broke and fell from its body, one after the other, but neither of them stopped, unwilling to waste their chance. The muscles of Yuuki’s arms seemed to be burning, and still, he kept going, accompanying Ryuji in what looked like a synchronized and destructive dance. The robot screamed in that poor imitation of Yuuki’s voice, then, after some time, stopped moving completely. Yuuki raised his spear, hitting the cables on the robot’s neck, making his television head fall in front of his body, showing nothing but static. Only then they stopped attacking it, looking at each other.

“Is it dead?” asked Yuuki.

Ryuji gestured that he didn’t know. For a few seconds, there was nothing but static on that screen, and then, pixelated Yuuki appeared again, flickering in and out of vision.

“You can’t… win…!” he said, sounding much like a damaged disc. “You’re nothing but… a disappointment…”

It laughed in that same, sadistic manner.

“Disappointment… Disappointment… Disappointment…”

Ryuji placed a hand on Yuuki’s shoulder, then offered him his bat.

“Go ahead,” he said.

Yuuki took the bat, giving Ryuji his weapon in exchange. He raised it high above his head, then brought it down with all of his anger, sadness, and frustration, crushing the television, that immediately went silent. He let out his breath, suddenly feeling much lighter than before—maybe lighter than he ever felt. He looked at Ryuji, offering him a relieved smile.

“That was… pretty satisfying,” he said.

Ryuji returned the smile. Their moment of peace didn’t last much longer, though. The entire place started to shake, pieces of it crumbling and falling around them.

“Shit…!” said Ryuji. “We gotta get outta here!”

He reached for Yuuki’s hand, and the two of them ran out of that room, crossing the corridors as quickly as they could back to the entrance, avoiding the holes and debris on their way. When they finally reached the end of that crumbling palace, they reappeared on the floor of Yuuki’s bedroom, in the real world. For quite a while, neither of them managed to speak nor move, breathing hastily, exhausted.

“It’s gone, isn’t it?” asked Yuuki.

“Yeah…” agreed Ryuji. “Gone.”

A low laugh left Yuuki’s lips. He was so tired and relieved… If it wasn’t for the pain in his entire body, he would be sure that it all had been nothing but a weird dream.

“Yuuki…” said Ryuji after a while. “That was—”

But Yuuki didn’t give him the chance to speak, embracing him and kissing his lips. Ryuji didn’t react for a second, and then let his fingers sink in Yuuki’s hair, while his other arm embraced his waist. They broke that kiss, looking at each other for a moment, and Yuuki would never be able to describe how glad he was to have someone like Ryuji by his side.

His attention was taken by the light coming out of the window. Ryuji followed his gaze, then furrowed his brow.

“What time is it?” he asked.

Yuuki reached for his phone.

“It’s past ten in the morning…” he said, being taken by a sudden shiver. “My parents will kill me if they find out I spent the entire night out!”

After he said it, he realized how silly that worry was in comparison to everything he had been through. He looked at Ryuji, then offered him a grin.”

“You know what?” he said. “Fuck it.”

His answer made Ryuji widen his eyes in surprise. Then, he laughed, and that contagious sound made Yuuki do the same.

“Hell yeah!” said Ryuji. “That’s my Yuuki!”

“All yours.”

He reached for Ryuji’s face, gently caressing his cheek. Before he could lean in for another kiss, however, he was defeated by a long yawn.

“I’m so tired…” he said.

“Yeah,” agreed Ryuji. “No way I’m goin’ to school now.”

“Me neither.”

With some effort, they moved to Yuuki’s bed, lying together in a comfortable embrace. Yuuki knew there were still many things he had to do… First, he wanted to call Shiho, to apologize and see how she was recovering. Then, he wanted to talk with Akira… Maybe not only talk, but finally get to know the _real_ him, not that idealized version that he created inside his head. Then, he wanted to do the same with the other Phantom Thieves, getting to know and spend time with them, until there was no more doubt in his mind that they were his _friends._

But all of that could wait until tomorrow… For the moment, all he wanted was to hold Ryuji close to him and fall asleep until the end of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I chose Yuuki’s persona because of Date Masamune, who was rejected by his own mother thanks to a deformity on the right side of his face, which also cost the vision of his right eye. Despite this, and with the support of his lifelong companion, Katakura Kojuro, he managed to become one of the most well-known and feared leaders of the time, known as the “One-eyed Dragon”, or Dokuganryuu.
> 
> And, yes… Yuuki’s costume is basically Solid Snake meets Auron from FFX. What a little nerd… <3
> 
> It hurt a lot to make one of my favorite characters go through all this, but I felt like there was so much to be explored in Yuuki’s anxiety and self-doubt… besides the fact that I would love to see him as an “official” member of the group.
> 
> And, of course… Ryushima. Because this is one of the best P5 ships and deserves much, much more love.
> 
> I would love to know your thoughts on this fic! Please, leave a comment if you can! Either way, thanks for reading it until the end, I hope you liked it! :)


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